TW: it feels like I'm drowning

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member I’ve tried lifeline and suicide callback service more recently. kidshelpline and headspace a few years when I was a bit younger. I think it really comes down to who I get. I’ve considered reaching out to Sane, don’t think I’m looked into Blueknot before. I could consider reaching out to someone. Maybe not straight away, just need some space right now. My psych said she will try to fit in a Telehealth appointment in April, but she is going to be out of Melbourne. I’m currently trying to get an appointment with a new psychiatrist. And I’ve sort of been distant from friends.

The event this Tuesday sounds good. But I have an evening zoom class 😭.

[Former-Member]

Sure, @creative_writer each of us will have our own preferences when it comes to various services & helplines but good to hear that you’ve given some a try in the past. And acknowledging that space is what you’re saying what you want right now.

I can hear you have been actively reaching out to supports through psych & accessing a new psychiatrist. And it sounds like you have awareness by noticing those things like being distant from friends.

Oh and the topic Tuesday event was from last year - it’s an archived discussion thread with all the information & resources that were discussed with the blue knot guest we had join us. 

So you can look over it whenever you feel really. I'll just link it again for ease of access.

https://saneforums.org/t5/Special-Events/Topic-Tuesday-Trauma-and-Recovery-Blue-Knot-Foundation-Tues...

Take care

[Zoe7]

Hey @creative_writer Haven't been around for a few days - needed a break - but thinking of you 💗

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member, it is definitely very individual. And there are people, well, you just feel comfortable with. It’s perfectly human. I just hope I find another decent psychiatrist. I don’t know if I’m choosy, but finding someone I feel comfortable with is hard. I have no idea how to connect to friends, I feel pretty unimportant anyways. Everyone has their own lives, I’m not sure if they need me.

@Zoe7, all good. I hope you are doing well ❤️.

[creative_writer]

Feeling very lonely right now, I don’t know how I’ll ever feel connected again.

[tyme]

Hi @creative_writer ,

I hear you. Feeling lonely and disconnected can be so challenging. 

I've also had years of feeling lonely. I pretty much withdrew myself from the world as I felt safer being by myself. The loneliness was dreadful. I'd pretty much lost hope of reconnecting with society.

It took services such as SANE to help me reconnect. I felt safer writing than speaking and hence the forums were a practice ground for me to learn and re-connect.

For now, perhaps it's just about taking a day at a time.

Sitting with you,

tyme

[creative_writer]

@tyme I also find it easier to write than talk. Never been much of a talker. I think I’m just trying to figure things out. I know people can have happy and full lives after experiencing trauma. Just need to somehow make that my reality.

[creative_writer]

It’s like there is so much left unspoken but nobody to really talk to or lean on. I guess my mess is only my responsibility to resolve. 

[Zoe7]

Hey @creative_writer Sorry I have not been around much to support you - needed a break from everything to try to get on top of work. I am slowly getting there but still a whole bunch to do before the end of term in a couple of weeks. I suspect then I will fall in a heap as my reserves are pretty much non-existent at present. The saving grace (apart from my fur babies) is my class - they are the most adorable bunch of kids and make me smile every day. 

Just wanted you to know I have been thinking of you and you are not alone in all that you are going through. 💖

[creative_writer]

@Zoe7 it’s all good, hope work goes well ❤️❤️.

I think I’m seriously lacking connections with people in my everyday life, but what do you expect when your at home most of the time? Though I feel you need to feel safe in order to have those healthy connections. Something that I need to work on. It kind of sucks how there is a bit of a gap until my next psych appointment in May. My psych did say she will try to squeeze in a Telehealth appointment this month, she’s said she will be away. I’m still waiting to hear back from the psychiatrist I got a referral for.