Thoughts

[Lilly6]

This is how I feel, do not read on if negative thoughts bother you........

Saw my therapist yesterday and couldn’t connect with her at all. Felt like I was on a completely different wavelength which made me sad.
I feel so flat like there is nothing for me and no one that really cares. Everything is grey.
My meds have not made an ounce of difference still feel the same.
I thought for a while that there was something worth staying for but I know there is not.
Right now I feel life is not precious, not mine anyway.

[Iris]

Hey @Lilly6 sounds like things are a bit rough for you atm, remember to reach out to your supports and the emergency numbers

[NatureLover]

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@Lilly6 wrote:

Saw my therapist yesterday and couldn’t connect with her at all. Felt like I was on a completely different wavelength which made me sad.

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Hi @Lilly6 , am sorry to hear this. Do you usually connect with her?

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@Lilly6 wrote:

I feel so flat like there is nothing for me and no one that really cares. Everything is grey.
...
Right now I feel life is not precious, not mine anyway.

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I'm sad that you don't feel your life is precious. I feel it is precious, and people around you do too, I'm sure...but the depression stops you from seeing it or feeling it. Depression really is the worst, I reckon. 

I am still holding onto hope that your meds will kick in over the next couple of weeks...

[Anastasia]

Hi @Lilly6 

I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Your life is very precious and you do matter. 

Perhaps a new therapist is worth investigating. It is so important that they hear and validate you. Try to look for a better fit for you hun. He/she is out there.

If you need extra suport now please call lifeline 13 11 14

Big hugs x

[Lilly6]

Thank you @Anastasia my therapist was/is great and I really like her but at the same time I felt she wasn't getting me at all which I found a little frustrating. She is a lovely person though. I don't want to start over again. 

Thank you for your support. I am very aware I can call lifeline and thank you for that too. I won't be calling them though as I don't want to be stopped again. 

[Lilly6]

Thank you @NatureLover yes usually I connect well with my therapist but this time not really at all and I felt she just was not getting me. Or maybe it was just me who knows? 

Yes depression is the worst, it is the pits and just there all the time. I don't feel I belong here in this world which kinda sucks but there you go. I don't feel my life is at all precious but agree depression could be contributing to that. 

Not sure in regards to meds, been on them for awhile now and don't feel better feel worse and worse and not sure I want to start any other meds. Doesn't matter anymore anyway, really don't need any of it. Thanks again for your support. 

[Lilly6]

Thanks @Iris yes I am having an extremely rough time. I know what supports are available and thank you. I am so tired of having this constant stuff going on and just want it to end. 

[Anastasia]

@Lilly6 

Sending love. Read this hun it might help? Feeling Suicidal? Then, you may need to read this. 

I hear you and I understand you are in pain.

I'll never be the same again from when my son tried to end his life, I live in fear that the day will come.

So many people love you. Please remember that x 

[Lilly6]

Thank you @Anastasia  for your kind words and the link. I have read that, thanks for writing it @NatureLover . I have been where you are and scared my son would end his life as he attempted about 2 years ago. I will also never be the same. I hope your son stays well. Hugs to you. 

I know I have people who love me and I love them too, they don't really need me though and doubt they will miss me for long. I am sorry if my words cause you pain. I am intending to go though as I can't stand where I am and can't continue as I am. I can't do it anymore. I can't stand the thought of years and years of not being able to connect with people, of never being good enough etc etc etc. I cannot do it. 

[Eve7]

Sending a gentle hug 🤗 @Lilly6 and hoping today is a little better than yesterday ❤️

Please reach out for support now before you do anything.

@Former-Member