Supporting and promoting the well-being of mental health carers and their families.
Mental Health Carers Austalia.
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18-08-2020 07:01 AM
18-08-2020 07:01 AM
Not sure how long I can hold my family together
Hi Everyone. Thanks for being here to support each other.
My husband is becoming increasingly unwell - depression, panic disorder, sleep apnoea and occasional suicidality. Stage 4 Covid19 restrictions and the loss of his job due to Covid19 seem to have triggered an increasing decline. His family is now estranged and all but one friend has walked away from him as he's becoming so irrational and irritable. But I (and our young child) are literally locked in with him. I love him but there is no way I would have even dated the man he's become. I feel like I've lost my husband. Any asserting of my own or our child's needs is perceived as criticism and results in further irritability and decline into depression. He then games or sleeps excessivly, leaving me to carry all the work and responsibilites alone. I'm so stuck.. and resentful and scared for our future. I'm so very worried about the impact this is having on our child too. I'm not sure how much longer I can (or even should) hold our family together. And, if it came to it, I'm honestly too scared to end the relationship as it would mean I'd have to leave our child alone in his care during his access. Please tell me this won't go on like this forever and that my husband will find his way back to us.
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19-08-2020 07:44 PM
19-08-2020 07:44 PM
Re: Not sure how long I can hold my family together
Hi Springtime,
First of all I want to say that it is great that you have reached out here. It’s important to you get help for yourself (as well as for your husband). Due to COVID-19 there is free counselor telehealth available. You can best call you GP and they will guide you in the right direction.
Stay strong and most importantly trust on yourself. If you feel at any time you are not safe, please seek help asap. Also if you husband is in danger due to self harm or being suicidal please call lifeline on 13 11 14.
Sending you a virtual hug,
Gigi
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21-08-2020 10:44 AM
21-08-2020 10:44 AM
Re: Not sure how long I can hold my family together
Hey there @Springtime how have you been travelling since your last post? I am really sorry to hear of what you're up against it sounds like you're feeling a huge amount of pressure in keeping everything afloat. I would highly recommend you reach out to the team at our Help Centre, you can book a call here or phone them directly on 1800 18 7263. It's completely confidential (and free) and the team are very experienced at strategising through family challenges such as this. Our community is here to support you too It's important to note that you do have rights and there are options for you - you don't have to go it alone.
How are you travelling today?
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21-08-2020 08:12 PM
21-08-2020 08:12 PM
Re: Not sure how long I can hold my family together
Thank you Gigi_Park for your kind thoughts. In the last few days I told my husband that his constant negativity and pessimism is bringing me and our family, and himself (further) down. I've been fortunate that he seemed to have listened and has become a bit more selective about the social media/news he watches and how much he gets caught up in stressful news feeds. It's greatly reduced the stress in our house for the past 2 days. Fingers crossed he can keep it up