Supporting and promoting the well-being of mental health carers and their families.
Mental Health Carers Austalia.
Something’s not right
29-12-2019 10:11 PM
Thanks @Darcy... about to head in to pick her up from today's emergency visit.
Trying to get the message through to her that we need her to try harder to fight it because we're getting near to our limits.
I'm not impressed with the current psych counselling mindset of treating each person as a discrete case, unrelated to anyone else. There's a point where that becomes total rubbish, because we can see all too well how one person's MI has this huge ripple effect on the whole family. More like a crashing wave than a ripple...
08-01-2020 05:00 PM - edited 08-01-2020 05:01 PM
Have come back yesterday from a couple of days away. While the weather was milder, and the fire danger therefore lower, we decided to make use of the opportunity to have a mini-holiday. Went to a bushland tourist area, well away from the fire zones but not too far away to drive to. Stayed in a motel, bought take away or went to restaurants for dinner, and did some enjoyable touristy things.
Sort of didn't completely get away from emergencies, but this time, it was on the behalf of a complete stranger... while on a bushwalk, we came across a group clustered around an injured walker. They'd sent someone to call an ambulance (no reception at the site) and tried to do some first aid, but weren't really sure of what to do. I knew in theory what the correct procedure was, but it wasn't something I'd ever had to do in practice, but that made me the "most qualified" out of the present company. So I improvised the neccessaries and hung around until emergency services arrived. Got a "well done" from them, so my theory obviously translated into good-enough practice. And I'm guessing all too often they turn up and find out that no-one has had the foggiest idea what to do. Have since heard back that the walker has now been given the medical all-clear. Yay.
Weird though. Part of the reason I was able to respond will be due to having to handle all sorts of medical crises at unexpected times. I went into calm-crisis "do x-y-z" mode. Very glad I was able to help. Still mentally catching my breath from doing so.
No phone calls from Older Daughter while away, which was good. No idea if that means no problems. She hasn't been eating properly since she returned to the house she shares with her brother- that was the Friday before Christmas. 2-3 weeks on minimal food means she's been getting headaches, nausea, dizziness, muscle aches and weakness... all of the body's "I need food!" signals. She's been in to Emergency most days over that period for one reason or another, and most of the recent ones due to the hunger symptoms. I think she's been trying to eat more over the past week. I also think she's got to be more committed to doing so. Vague worry knocking around the back of my mind that with her history of adopting ailments, she could shift into adopting an "eating disorder". Don't really need yet another complication.
13-01-2020 10:30 PM
Even-ish since we got home. But not totally even. There was one middle of the night call when she'd rung an ambulance for a migraine. I tried to persuade her to cancel it and see the doctor the next morning, but nup.
I think she's getting back to eating properly. We haven't had any further mention of weakness, dizziness etc.
15-01-2020 01:17 PM
Ta @Determined. Hasn't been quite as quiet as we thought. There's been at least a couple of SH incidents we didn't hear about. Hubby drove her in to Emergency last night due to increasing pain from the previous night's incident. It seems that was one that could have waited for a doctors' appointment instead, but sometimes it's so hard to tell.
We're planning on another short two night getaway over the next few days while the weather is mild. Hope "otherwise" events stay quiet enough...
19-01-2020 08:34 PM - edited 19-01-2020 08:37 PM
@Determined @Darcy @Shaz51 @Darcy ...et al...
Two nights away were pleasant. Country town on a river, so a few waterway activities such as a boat cruise and a bit of swimming... pleasant meals out, icecream, assorted second hand shops, little treats like fudge, assorted photo opportunities, postcards home. Relaxed touristy stuff.
But got a few calls from Older Daughter on and off. SH linked in with clamouring internal voices. Worst incident was yesterday, and will require a plastic surgeon again. She was able to get a bed in a big city public hospital this time, so she's been transferred down there. Repairs should happen tomorrow, caseload permitting. We'll probably need to drive down to take her home.
We're hoping and praying that the timing does work out well for tomorrow, preferably the morning. My sister is having a morning tea celebration on Tuesday at work for XX years of being an employee with the company, and she really wants us to be there... and we really want to be there... If the repairs get put off until late Monday or Tuesday morning, that could toss everything out.
It's one of those things that sounds petty, but possibly isn't. We're trying to pull back control over our own lives, and to consciously decide that we can have a holiday or special occasion, and those times should be allowed to take a priority place, for the sake of our own wellbeing. And at the same time, if she doesn't wrest back control over her actions, she's going to destroy herself, either a little bit at a time, or in one big incident that goes too far. Trying to encourage and persuade her to do so hasn't worked; we're now testing out what happens if we withdraw support a little bit... instead of going "to the rescue", trying to talk her around to what she can do herself. Simple things like checking if she's taken "day clothes" into the hospital at night, so a bus home instead of taxi or us picking her up is an option. (Nighttime emergencies being common, she's often in PJs.) Or a bit of "wait time" for pick up to fit around our schedule and needs. Hassle is, if we don't fit her timetable, there's every possibility that she'll call in someone else to help anyway, which defeats the purpose.
And also part of that is that, while we will try to work around getting her home, we're not down there at her bedside. We're in contact via phone, but not supporting her unconscious need to be a brave martyr patient... Am uncomfortably aware that it may well look "uncaring" to others, but doing my best to ignore that possibility.