Why is there so much pressure on days

[Judymay]

So over days having meaning when you are alone and you can't hold a normal day so add an occasion and we are next level struggling. 

I want to ignore it and hope maybe if it doesn't notice me I'll get through untouched and no fate given for the new year. The other half ones to sage my room and burn everything that I lost this year and even still this week reminding me it's taking everything. I don't know I guess I'll wake up and see either way I am I sure if we get to

dictate it anyway.

all I know is I am accepting closure or understanding dor basically everything this year has not been given so yay that's reallly fun to let go. 

[Gremlin24]

@Judymay life is hard enough to get through sometime without the added pressure of specific days. Unfortunately when we are alone those days seem to remind us just what we are missing out on. 

Sending you lots of strength to keep pushing through, you've got this. Let's hope the new year is better for all of us. 

[MJG017]

@Judymay 

I know the only way i've gotten through the past year or two is to learn to not focus too much on things I can't control.  Things are going to be hard enough without adding more onto the pile.  So I've learnt to try and kind of... I don't know... "let go" of stuff I just can't control or change.  It hasn't really solved anything or transformed my life at all, but just allowed me to survive just a bit easier and get through each day.  So if you can manage to do this, well done!  It seemed like such a small thing before but now, it feels like such a massive achievement because I know now that it is.  For me, part of it is realizing that certain things in life are finite, so appreciate what I have while i have it.  Like I said, it just helps me get through each day.

[AdamDH]

I've started the new year on a similar note. I've got weeks of holidays left in Alice Springs but there is nobody in town, and I just have this impending anxiety about what am I going to do with all of these days? And how have I slipped so far from a regular life routine that I've forgotten how to structure my days to include my self-help routines, or apply myself to something meaningful. I pushed the world away through addiction, depression, and trauma, and now I'm left with nobody and it feels so raw that it makes it hard to face the future...

[tyme]

Argggghhhh @AdamDH !

Tell me about it!

I am LOST without work and routine. Work gives me stability, accountability and routine. I've come to the point where I don't know what day it is, and the more I 'rest' and sleep, the more yuck and headachy I feel!

For me, the best way to cope is to just keep the regular waking/sleeping routine. I had 2 days of sleeping in and I felt TERRIBLE. So today, I woke up by 6am and was out of the house by 8am, and I felt so much better - and got more done!

Maybe this will help?

[AdamDH]

Thank you for your response. That is a great suggestion. I've actually started a similar routine today where I was up and went for a big walk in the morning. The goal tomorrow is to do some reading when I return from that, and then once I can get into that routine I can add playing the bass into the mix too. Start small and then add to the list and routine. I'm also thinking of joining a community group called Toastmasters that is all about improving public speaking and leadership skills. 

Stay strong. You got this!

[rav3n]

hey there @AdamDH i'm so sorry to hear your feeling that way. i know this isn't where you wanted to be at this point in time, sometimes things take a turn but there's always a way to get back onto the track you want. i assure you there is still hope.

it's clear that you've gone through a lot with addiction, anxiety, depression, etc., and you've come out the other end as a different person too. it isn't too late to rebuild or create new connections. but there's no rush either too. sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to reconnect with reality but its okay to take it a small step at a time. what's some of your self-help routines? maybe you can start by trying to fit one of them back into your day-to-day schedule? i went to the beach on my own this holiday, and just hearing kids playing, watching the waves crash, seeing the pink-blue sky was enough of a connection. you can find your equivalent too. 

you're not alone here, we're here for you.

[AdamDH]

I've forgotten to enjoy nature and time to myself. I've been single for a few years and I still spend a lot of my down time too depressed to get out and do proactive things with my time. I've been trying to talk to family more, but my increasing dependence on them makes me fret for the future. I am trying to get back into a regular gym routine so that is my goal for this week, as well as moving house into a share house. My Mum has suggested I get a mental health OT but it sounds pricey and I'm not sure it will help. The other day I asked my Mum if she could accept the fact that I just didn't want to live anymore, but she wouldn't have a bar of it. Need to remember how to enjoy my life, and stop living as if my life is already over. Help!

[Judymay]

Hi @AdamDH 

@sorry to hear that. If it helps I am music obsessed and haven't listened to a song for weeks. I've been trying to lean into the solitude, find some depth of inner strength and spirituality. I've been listening to audible and meditations/affirmations, and reading book trying to find fight and propose again but for now I get up and breathe again and endure another day and if it that's what it takes me to get to find some meaning again I guess it's worth it.

[AdamDH]

Oh no! Why not listening to music? Just not feeling it? I went through that a bit last year actually. I've been getting really into the Childish Gambino song Redbone lately. Trying to build up the courage to sing it sober at karaoke night... Sober karaoke will be a first, but learning to have fun sober is one of my goals for this year. I hope your plan with meditation and ambient music is helping. Brian Eno has some amazing ambient albums that I used to play in the background while training first aid to keep a calm atmosphere in the training space. Hope you are able to find some positives this week. Stay strong.