The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'

[Former-Member]

Good Afternoon to you @CheerBear 💜💙💚💛❤️

Naw thank you. We definitely slept. I fell asleep and didn't have any negative thoughts i was too tired.

Haha 😂 Yeah even just a random grocery trip can turn into a disaster... I once cracked the poos when bub was behaving i put down my basket and walked out then told her well i guess we won't be having any lunch then with that attitude! ☺️

I don't know who's is worse... Mine or my mini me..

😂 Karma for sure. All the things i must have put my mum through i so understand now lol

I am sure your kiddies are so so cute💜

We had cupcakes by the beach and met a few crabs and bub went for a swim and watched the ships come into town. My daughter takes after me in the way of just eating the icing off cakes and not the cake 😂😂😂

So many people out this way today.

Did you have a good day? I hope you guys did. Hope you are holding up with your energy levels. It's nice speaking with you 💐💜

[Former-Member]

@CheerBear Missbehaving is what i meant ☝🏻

[CheerBear]

Hi @Former-Member ☺ Glad you guys slept last night.

How incredibly not fun can supermarket trips be with littles?! Mine are probably big enough that you'd think we'd be beyond that now but they're not all yet. I try to avoid that one as much as I can!

Your daughter sounds very cute! Loved imagining you both at the beach meeting crabs and enjoying cake 💗

We've had another pretty good day thanks ☺. We're out and about today/tonight and it's been nice to be busy again today. Littlest has been oozing with attitude today so it turned into one of those 'try again tomorrow' days with them. Managed to keep it contained to just mouthy 'tude which I'll take over the war that can happen with little and middle when things get wobbly here. (Small wins sometimes 👍)

All settling down for the night now with a movie. It's a nice time of the night ☺ Does your little go down well in the evenings (I might have already asked that sorry!)?

Hope tonight is going ok for you. Really nice to get to know you and I enjoy chatting with you 💜

Thinking of you @Former-Member and wondering how your weekend has been. Hoping things are going ok for you also @CrazyTiger.

[Former-Member]

Hellooo @CheerBear

I definately don't like shopping with my daughter most times lol.

Nawww glad you are able to avoid it. Sometimes it's unavoidable for us. More so now though when my daughter is in preschool i can get what we need on our own but mostly bubs always by my side which i love 💕but it gets hard sometimes.

I love her to bits. I admire the little girl she is.
She's like a mummy to all the kids at school.

It's so good you are keeping busy! How old is your littliest if you don't mind me asking?

My little girl goes down easily most times but majority of the time i have to lay in with her after reading a story and tickling her back as i think it is a security thing. We are pretty close with our bond.

Hope you enjoy watching the movie. I am trying to sort a few things out online.
Hoping you have a good day tomorrow 💕

[CrazyTiger]

Hi @CheerBear
I'm sorry I haven't been very vocal lately. My BPD has become quite bad and I'm withdrawing from everyone / everything. I don't know how else to cope at the moment.

[CrazyTiger]

Hi @CheerBear
Just found this site via an email, so thought I would share. I'm not sure if it's appropriate or not, so please forgive me if it's wrong. It's an Australian / NSW group.

https://www.projectairstrategy.org/whoweare/index.html

[CheerBear]

You two do sound very close @Former-Member 💖😊 How long have you been doing it on your own (If you don't mind me asking?). I haven't mentioned the ages of my kids here but they go from lower to upper primary. There's a huge difference in age and maturity (in all ways) between littlest and biggest, probably for a couple of reasons. Little is probably on the younger side of their age in terms of maturity and big is on the older side, if that makes any sense. I'm in bed with little right now who has the sillies and isn't sleeping tonight apparently :face_with_rolling_eyes: (they're being kind of funny and it's a bit hard to keep my straight face).

Going to have to lights off/phone down soon probably to at least pretend I am asleep so they'll stop mucking around.

Hope you sleep well again tonight 💜

Hi @CrazyTiger ☺ I understand the need to withdraw sometimes as a way to get through. I find it hard to know when withdrawing is helpful (for time out/self-care etc) and when it becomes an unhelpful shut down/shut out the world thing for me. Tricky to balance that sometimes I think. It's definitely ok not to reply here if you'd prefer not to or you're not up to it and if you'd prefer not to be tagged here please let me know (I don't want to put any pressure on you to reply!).

I had a quick look through that website and there's some great stuff on there. I went to the fact sheets and the ones I clicked on looked so helpful! I can see that it's aimed at people living with Personality Disorders though there seems to be some really useful ideas and tips that could be applied way more widely. Thanks heaps for sharing it!

I think I'll edit the first post on this thread and add some links to things we find or have found helpful maybe.

[Former-Member]

@CheerBear

I understand. Aw I know those moments when it has to be serious at bedtime 💓 Lol

I have basically raised my child since day one solo...

I never intended or expected it to happen the way it has but now i geniunely can't break out of the habit of allowing others to help when offered...

I don't know if it is my past disappointments & let downs that made me put up that wall or habit now.

I just have gotten used to it and just do what i need to. I think the hardest thing though at times that i feel is when i am unsure if i am making a mistake or the right choice with many different things. I guess because there isn't the other there it all falls back on me and i think that is why i am so hard on myself at times. I rip myself to pieces some days...
Sometimes i do wish there was a second opinion but in saying that even if there was i don't know how geniunely i would deal with that either...

My mum helps me with the emotional support. Sometimes that all i wish i had in my past not all the other excuse my french real life s**t we went through...with her father

I told my daughter the other day you have a daddy you have one daddy and can always keep daddy in your heart i just don't know what daddy wants... It broke me

I have a photo framed and i don't know even if that was the right thing i did or said

I genuinely protected my daughter from him with his abusive ways on grog in those times.. i have no idea though what he is like now but i hope one day he takes responsibility for his actions & responsibility for my daughter because all she needs is LOVE & RESPECT & TO BE TREATED LIKE A PERSON

I am a little in my head at the moment sorry for venting hope you do have a good night

[CheerBear]

I'm just about to log out for the night but before I go I wanted to say how much I hear and feel your post above @Former-Member. I can really relate to the huge responsibility that single parenting brings and how hard it can be to not have that second opinion or different set of eyes. And equally how much I don't think I'd cope very well with that now too (how much I didn't cope with opinions that were so very different to mine).

So tough and so brave to go solo to protect your daughter like you did from when she was young. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't do it sooner. That would have been very hard to have that conversation with her. Again, it's brave to do that hard stuff. Huge hugs.

Vent away if it helps (I find it helps). It's definitely not all cupcakes and rainbows.

❤

[Former-Member]

@CheerBear Goodnight ♥️