The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'

[CheerBear]

Hi everyone ☺

I'm guessing lots of people out there have heard the words "it takes a village to raise a child". It's one I believe in but one it seems many of us can really struggle with for lots of reasons. For those of us living with extra challenges like mental health related issues, it makes sense that being part of a strong and supportive network could be really helpful. I have found though, that extra challenges can make it extra challenging to find and be part of an understanding and supportive 'village' (and sometimes the people in our village are part of the issues/challenges - it can be a bit of a catch 22).

Maybe we could build a virtual kind of parenting support village here where we can share some of the ups and downs of raising kids, celebrate the good times, support each other through the not-so-good times, and connect with others who might "get it". 

Tagging@Former-Member @Bubbles3 @Snowie @Former-Member  @health4s @kv22 @Scarlet79 @CrazyTiger @defeatedmumma @Former-Member @NameUnknown (with no pressure to reply - more so you're aware that this space is here if you'd like to use it) and inviting anyone who'd like to jump in anytime to come along ☺

[Former-Member]

A virtual village sounds helpful @CheerBear , thank you for creating this space.
Parenting with our challenges of MI can make something that is already the hardest job in the world, one that is more complex and difficult, but i do wonder if a lot of the time we have some more awareness of our kids needs and difficulties because we have some extra insight into mental health as well...
Im very accomplished at throwing myself under the bus for all of my failings, even though i know rationally that no parent is perfect... having a supportive village where we can share our ups and downs and remind each other such things would be great!
Hope to see our village grow!

[CheerBear]

Hi @Former-Member ☺ 

I really like the idea that parenting with our own MH challenges might allow us some extra insight into our kids struggles. Mine have some pretty huge feelings/behaviours etc sometimes (as all kids do I think) and while it's hard to manage that with my own stuff sometimes, it does also help me relate to them in a way.

Mine are doing a bit of this tonight 

I am trying to practice patience and breathing 😆

So good to see you here 😊 Hope you and yours have an ok/decent/good night.

[Former-Member]

lol yes on the breathing and practicing patience... thats me on a daily basis too.. Yes i think all kids have big moments too, i think often adults expect too much of kids in always having to be 'ok' somehow. I'm working really hard on helping my mr to learn some more ways of self regulating and managing his big feelings but its very slow and when he's hurting through things he finds really hard to control i hurt so much for him too. Im still looking for a magic wand to fix everything. ..

I'm looking forward to seeing your pic! while hoping that noises from bedrooms start to get quieter sigh.

[CrazyTiger]

Hi @CheerBear

This sounds awesome. I had a really bad day today with my girl and my MH issues that have been going on for weeks.
I had to turn my phone off (which never happens) and put us both to bed coz I couldn't cope with anything or anyone.
I also felt like I had absolutely no body to help or support me today.

[CheerBear]

I can definitely relate to hurting when mine hurt @Former-Member 🙁 My middle one has issues at the moment with anger outbursts and I'm trying to work on that with them. It's tiring and tricky sometimes (for both/all of us) and I'm looking for a wand also. I found pinterest has some great stuff for kids in terms of tools/techniques/strategies etc (no wands unfortunately).

Hi @CrazyTiger. It's great to see you again. I'm sorry to hear you had a really bad day today.

From memory your little one is quite little? Bad days with little ones can be so hard. Turning your phone off and taking you both to bed sounds like a really good idea when you've reached that point. How was the rest of the day/evening after?

It's really tough to feel and be without much in the way of support while you're trying to parent and manage mental health issues. Wish sometimes we could reach through the screen and offer some practical support to each other, but venting and sharing can maybe help with feeling less totally alone hopefully.

I can't remember whether you have any kid-free time during the week?

I'm a bit tired and 2/3rds of mine are now asleep (one is reading but quiet) so I am not far off logging out tonight.

I really hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

[Former-Member]

Hi @CheerBear

Thanks for the tag. Hopefully this thread helps everyone. I have had a busy exhausting day. Took my little girl to get her four year needles and also got some bloods taken myself as haven't been well. Definitely think this thread will help those that GET IT.

[Former-Member]

Hi @CrazyTiger - im glad you were able to take the time that you both needed and have a sleep, hope it was a kind of reset button for you both and the afternoon was better!

Hi @Former-Member - aww needles are awful 😞 well.. with my daughter they were awful, but my son doesnt feel (much) pain and so he never used to notice his at all and would be all smiles... I hope she doesnt have any reactions to it (my daughter would always get the slight miseries/temp for a few days). Glad you got looked at/after as well, hope that everything is ok with you...

@CheerBear - hope your last lf is asleep soon so you can rest! Mine are asleep and now i need to do my work/study stuff, absolutely no energy tonight but we have a pd staff meeting tomorrow sigh.

I wondered if it might be helpful to sort of introduce ourselves (again here) in terms of our parenting situation/stuff (as much as we are comfortable with), i forget everything!!

I have two children who are both in primary school still, nearly 7 and 9 y ears old. Im a single mama and struggle with ptsd, mdd and bpd.. I dont have any family and few friends, have moved around alot over the last 12 years for one reason or another (work first and then seperating from ex) ... Take care all

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member i was taken back, my daughter didn't cry or anything. It was easy. She hasn't reacted though she has been tired since. I was tested for a few things in particular as well as glandular fever. Hoping it comes back ok. I am a working single mum with one daughter battling ptsd. I don't have much support left because of the extent of the trauma & other factors. I also have moved around quite a bit the last few years. Hope you find some time to yourself tonight x

[Former-Member]

Thats great that she was good and ok for her needles! makes it so much easier @Former-Member 🙂 Hearing you on the difficulty with support because of the trauma.. i find it so hard to let anyone into my life and panic a lot to do with personal relationships... building a village is hard!