Being real

[Ellie]

Great news re: ECASA Kirstin. Christmas has been very difficult for you, but here's hoping 2015 will be a much better year and that you can work through some issue with your counsellor.

Ellie.

[Alessandra1992]

Well said @kato!

[kristin]

Hey Sandy,

@Alessandra1992 

Yes it is thanks! I'm so relieved I can't believe how much of a difference it has made, even though I know it is going to be rough for a while.

Do I understand you correctly that your eldest is off to high school?  That can be very stressful, I agree. I know it was a huge thing when my eldest started. To make matters worse we chose very poorly. But in the long term he has gained a great deal from what was a terribly hard year, it is part of the reason he's been able to stand up to his bullying boss last year.

But my hope and prayer is that this year will be like my elder daughter's transition to high school last year. She was well prepared, we chose the school to suit her well, and she had an amazing year getting involoved in lots of extra-curricular stuff like the band, found a cohort of lovely like-minded ("I am who I am", no apologies) friends, and did really well academically. 

So I encourage you to trust in God and trust that you and your child have a relationship that can support a great year, and deal with issues as they come up. There will be issues, the test of the school will be how they handle them. These days my aicd test for a school is: if we have an issue do they treat me like a partner in my child's education or a pain in the behind? I truly hope you find the former.

Take care of you.

Kind regards,

Kristin

[kristin]

Thanks @kato !

I really do appreciate all the support from yourself and everyone. Yo are right it is always so easy to see others' strength in dealing with their "stuff" and so hard to see our own strength with ours.

I am working on taking care. In the meantime, in spite of "stuff"...

hope endures.

Kind regards,

Kristin 

[kristin]

Thanks @Ellie I really appreciate it.

I am quite confident that the ECASA counselling will help, I did a course with them nearly 2 years ago (TACT - Tramua focussed Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) which quite frankly changed my life - it just opened up so much.

So hope endures that this will be a helpful road, even if rough for a while.

Kind regards,

Kristin

[Rick]

@kristin 

Hi Kid,

What a load. Backs bent double in the heat, the sun beating down, children as wonderful as they are, can weight load and break the back.

But we don't break. Does we? No we does not.

It would be easier if we did, but that's not how we are built and at the end of the trial we are glad for it.

Small reliefs remove haevy weights, I am very pleased about the ACASA sessions. 

We axpect so very much from ourselves,yeah?

And we bruise ourselves when we deem our efforts less than satisfactory. But what is the yardstick

It's inherited. Just an judge yourself fairly because you had more than enough unfairness to last lifetimes.

As lighthouse brings illumination in to the dangerous dark so do you for so many of us.

Thankyou Kristin. You are a fine lighthouse.

I will add you to my prayers 

Hope (cos it knows no better) endures

Rick

[kristin]

Thanks so much @Rick 

It means a heck of a lot. I love the Peanuts, I second what @peace said about it! Both you and it deserve and extra "like", and now we can do that!

I think I forgot to say earlier my psych tried to call me earlier but I didn't recognise the phone number (I thought it was the bully-businessman's lawyer - similar number) so I didn't answer. I was really disappointed that I missed her call, but i will see her next Wed and I think I will probably be ok until then now that things have settled a little. I will just wait and see. In the midst of turmoil, sitting with it as best and as mindfully as I can, I seem to keep growing.

Hope (cos it is its purpose) endures

Kind regards,

Kristin 

[kristin]

Hi guys,

I am really struggling at the moment. 

I have just had to ask my former patrtner to leave (immediately) after having asked him on thursday to move out by the end of Feb. I had asked him at the end of October to move out, but he seems to have done fairly little in looking for a place, so I fetl it was necesary to give him an achievable deadline. I don't want him back on the street either. And I told him this was not an acceptable alternative.

Tonight he got upset because my older daughter and I were growling at my youngest for deliberately kicking her sister in the knees at the dinner table. Then when the little one was playing up getting ready for bed he started yelling at her, she stormed into her room and he went after her. I was at the other end of the house and heard a loud smack noise and then a thud and a scream. I went into my daughter's bedroom and she was on the floor with a large red mark on her knee. he hit her so hard she fell off the bed. She was crying, and I went to hold her. he told me to leave the room , I said "no, you leave the room" my little girl clung to me and told him to go away. So he did but not before he made a comment about my older daughter and i picking on the little one. 

So he seems to be taking no responsisbility for having done the wrong thing and hit her, and then tried to blame us for the fact that he lost his temper. I've been through enough of this to recognise this as emotional abuse, of all of us. After I'd got the little one calmed down, into jammies and bed; I calmed myself down, made dinner for him and I the afterwards told him he needs to go and stay at a friend's now. He still took no responsibility for his behaviour, istead saying "I knew this was coming this morning, I hoped I was wrong". 

I've had enough. He wont' be living with us again. No matter what. It took a few phone calls before I could get hold of a friend and calm down a bit and talk it through. But i'm relieved it's done. I will still have to get him his stuff, as he's just walked out without it.

Hope for better days endures...

Kristin

[NikNik]

@kristin 

What a horrendous night you've had.

But the way you handled it, woah you are one resilient, determined, strong mother.

I'm so glad that the danger and you're in a safe house tonight.

Look after yourself tonight. I hope you're indulging in some self care or reaching out for further support.

A better day is coming,

Nik

[Uggbootdiva]

@kristin
I'm sorry. thats a very strong thing to do.
well done.
btw its NOT your fault if he ends up on the street. you have given him chance after chance.

I wasnt going to logon I am finding the daily digests very stressful as logging in here another thing I have to do. I get a bit obsesssed its the same with facebook. compulsively logging in.
but I am glad I did otherwise I would have missed this post.
so so crappy for you.

love and care to you dear girl.