Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

Hello @Decadian,

thank you @BossandSqueezy,for the quote

hello my special friend  @PeppiPatty, @Former-Member

thank you for all sharing your stories

have you started a thread @Former-Member, will have to have a look my dear friend

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Former-Member

You are not silly but yes, I have been there. I have no problsms telling people that my oldest son is a drug user and refuses to take medication .....

It takes a while to get used to.....I will admit. I will do anything to take care of myself. I admit to others  I'm on medication. I have done Nothing with my life....

Even on Sane Forums, I'm too busy discussing the colours I love to look at (lol) 

Sweetheart, see a Psychologist, go and see a movie, go shopping. Take back something to target. Do whatever makes you feel good. Go to Arafmi, go to an agency who believe in self medicating and someone spedning times in mental ill health. Whatever you do, only get involved with someone's problems if it is safe.

From myself: your husband is doing the wrong thing. This is going to come back and bite him in the ........

[NikNik]

Hi @Former-Member

That sounds like a lot to manage. Keeping with the topic of this discussion - I'm wondering what has kept you going as a carer?

Sharing the things that have helped you keep going, may help other carers too.

Take care,

Nik

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Former-Member

I've just got back from taking doggie to park....your sttories are shocking, I read a bit to my husband and he said that your sonm was abused. 

I want to get back to reading......

You are going to be fine. You need to forgive yourself for crying so much.....it's very difficult to accept change when you don't expect it ......

Ille keep on reading........

[Shaz51]

What keeps me going  @NikNik

My Love for my Husband

How about you

@Bacon @BrookeL @Butwhy @dancer @davidharper_bal @Diramu @JennyK1 @Lillybobtail @Litam @Lizzy @Lochlyn @LonelyGal @mohill @mylife83 @neil @Pocoyo @Sagher @Sathish @Sonnet116 @sophie3 @Struggling36 @Summer22 @susansmith @zikki

[BossandSqueezy]

Dear @PeppiPatty,

I'm so glad you liked the quote. It is so true for myself and many other women like you who travel through tough times. I am a very solitary person. After a pretty horrendous assault, I spent ten months in hospital and since then (5 years ago), I haven't left my house alone. Mostly I am just at home, afraid to face the world (people really). The quote is true for me because I don't let anyone see my pain or see me cry. It's been a difficult time for me and my 5 grown children who don't understand my suicidality. I mentioned the need to change in my last reply. Well..... I need to change but not really sure how. And yes, from what I read in your blog, I thought the quote might just resonate with you too. Take care.......

Love,

BossandSqueezy

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @BossandSqueezy

( Just a tic....) hello @Shaz51 my special friend x

Hi @BossandSqueezy

I read your last message to me about your 5 children......unfortunately they remind me of 2 of my brothers and their wives. It's heartbreaking. 

Can we both just sit with this knowledge ? Lets be kind to ourselves to get through the day and to them. You will help me as well,

PeppiPaatty 

[Former-Member]

hello @PeppiPatty @Shaz51

they are all on holidays.

they were all there i had so much help when son first detained. holding me up with words

now they are all on holidays. now i am dropped

i am left on my own with the pain as always happens.

i cant leave the house

i want to hear from him so badly but am so scared that he might ring because he has run out of money.

i have written and written and written on here and half of it i cant find or dont remember.

what is the point of having all these people with appointments for the end of this month and next month.

not one person has given me strategies for if he does ring.

 i dont think they know what to say to me or know what to do with me. I think that they are frightened of me as I am frightened of my son.

all i have done is bleat on and on about my pain.

[Former-Member]

It's ok to bleat @Former-Member. You are in pain with little support when you need it most. It does help when you have that support and for me it's been really noticeable when I don't have it. I have fallen over too. Please keep your appointments because he may not ring before then and then you'll have a chance to work out strategies. Maybe it would be worth making a list and prioritising the things you need help with from the support and make sure they know how important it is to you. That is all you can do. Beyond that it is up to him which is unfair to you.
I am not in your situation but I have a son who is out of control and does dangerous risky things fuelled with alcohol. I have the fear of the knock at my door from the police one day with bad news. I know I have no control over this. But I empathise with you because I have weekly contact and I think not having contact would be really hard.
I'm not sure what else to say but to be kind to yourself. You are doing everything humanly possible to ensure the wellbeing of your son. One day I hope he sees this and is grateful. What is it you can do for you now to help get through to the appointments?
Sending hugs 💜😊