money doesn't fix it

[Former-Member]

For the first time in my life I've had more than $100,000 in the bank (sold my house, paid of the mortgage, have a bit left). So this is not just here say, or theory, but 'living experience'.

MONEY DOESN'T 'FIX' ITIT

Its true too, the old saying:

MONEY CAN'T BUY YOU LOVE

I add that because I truly believe a lack of love causes emotional all and mind, even body imbalance like starvation. 

I feel like oxygen has been taken out ofbmy world. I'm having trouble getting off the couch, yet I have all this money all of a sudden, and still can't do something in CE for myself.

I'm trapped alone in my parents house of abuse and death, the walls cry with sadness. 

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Couldn't visit dad today (long story, see DDD carers thread), I think my face makes it worse for him 'cause he thinks it means he's gong home. I'm pulled in two directions & the stress levels are triggering 'give up' mode bigtime... blackdog... SI... Frozen...

I need to get away, run away, hide, get out of this house... Nobody's got my back.

Rang storage place to hide my stuff - 1.5x3=$140month - thieves! So I started searching for a van, one I can sleep in, and store my stuff, cause renting here is $400 min for a 2BR granny flat 😞 But so much choice... can't make decision, or brave the thieving car salesmen, or get off the couch...

I'm so tired

I don't know what to do

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member

Transitions can be difficult times, the waiting  ...  the not knowing. 

Sitting with you.

[Teej]

@Former-Member. It’s time for you. You have experienced so much loss and have so much to grieve about. 

How about buying a can of peaches and cream and spoiling yourself. You have time to make all the big decisions but you need time to let this wash over you. So much has happened. You deserve lots of self care. Money can’t  buy you happiness but maybe just for now you could treat yourself to something that might bring a smile for a bit. 

Thinking of you 💜🤗

[utopia]

@Former-Member. No,  money doesn't buy happiness or love or good mental health.  

I'm sorry to hear you stuck in such a dark place.  Your parents home does not sound like a healthy place for you to be.  And sounds like it will be harder to get out of depression in such a negative house. 

Are you able to leave?  Do you really need to be there?  (sorry have missed lots of your story) .

Sending you love.  ❤

[Former-Member]

Haha re 'can of peachez' @Teej, wish I had the energy to go buy some. I wish I could rise above blackdog, I'm so tired
Thanks @utopia, good to see you.

[Former-Member]

I probably CAN leave, it just feels like I can't, yet I can make a cuppa. BUT thinking through - where to go. my brain. Just heavily fatigued & intense SI frightens me. Gloomy weather isn't helping. Ta4 listening

[Zaphod]

I hear you @Former-Member.  I can relate to having SI and the black dog on and off for years and definately know that reaching out online or over the phone eases things.  Ive had money in the past too and know it doesnt translate into happiness and contentment, so i had to shift the value i placed on it, and started valuing other things, which took time.  

[Former-Member]

Hi @Zaphod,
I survived the night.
Don't think I even value the money, its like its not real.
If I die my son will probably make excellent use of it.
How did you 'devalue' your past money?
Did you give it away?

Guess I could use mine to self care
- a health farm stay
- aholiday in Cairns with @Owlunar lol
- help out the poor
- import neb
- any suggestions?