money doesn't fix it

[Zaphod]

Hi @Former-Member.  Using the money for self care sounds like an excellent idea to me.  There's heaps of ways to improve our physical, emotional, social and mental health without spending money though. I learnt (and am still learning) not so much to devalue my money, but to use it wisely.  I inherited a bit of money ($85000) from a deceased relative.  Not managing my mh at the time meant that in a couple of months i was a shivering recluse after having quit my job.  I gave some to charity which made me feel a tiny bit better.  Focussing on self care is imprtant though.  Good on you for reaching out on here.  Hope you have a better day. 😊

[Former-Member]

Yes @Zaphod, having money can isolate us, like cars do

Can anyone suggest a
- good car to buy? I'm looking at a VW caddy
- health resort?
- something nice for my hair?
- good plastic surgeon Sydney?
But first, gotta find my legs
Didn't forget my pills today, took it upon myself to increase antidepressant as mood swings bigger & more frequent than usual. Haven't really found a good Dr here in sydney yet.

[Former-Member]

[silhouette]

@Former-Member, xox

"Your circumstances are not who you are!"

Yes, you ar are gieving, and hurting, and its no wonder with all that's happened on top of your poor start in life (broken arrow), but even what you think, and feel, this is not who you are...  You're the one observing that, and I for one am so proud of you. xox 

Ride it out, peace will come again. xox

[Former-Member]

TNX. xox

[Owlunar]

Definitely time in Cairns @Former-Member - even if circumstances declare it has to be imaginary time - it's a good idea

I understand what you are talking about - I didn't feel that the money I inherited was my money - time has passed and I have found a way of enjoying it by travelling - taking in Australia one city at a time - and doing it the easy way with comfortable flights and good hotels - and short trips too - my cat is not at all happy about my going away and so I take short trips for now

 Still I would have traded this for better relationships with my family but that didn't happen and now can't or won't and with therapy I have got over the need to spend money to have someone listen to me about it - I enjoy my trips and self-care of course - 

But I really hear you and I think like @utopia that it's not a good idea to go back to your parents' house - I never liked my parents' house - I felt itchy there - I was a teenager and young adult there - totally frustrated with the excessive control we all had over is and it was excessive and this does not build love or trust and here you are

No one can tell you what to do but we can suggest - if you feel as if you would be trapped in a terrible world of loneliness there then don't - and it is really easy for me to say but then - yes

I did tell my mother I had enough of her mouth and I was not coming back and walked out on her when she was in aged-care and never went back there. I woke up every morning and asked myself if I would visit her and thought about it all day and was glad at night that I hadn't gone there and woke up the next morning with the same argument in my head but I am glad now I never did - I saw her in hospital before she died and I had no regret - I saw a woman with mountains of regret but that was not my problem - and yes - I think she had a form of dementia and it is very sad to think of it from her side but my point is this

I know you were doing what you were doing for your Dad from love and if that was all it might have been good but you had your sibs under-mining you, attacking you - trying to steal your magic which is impossible - they can make you feel as if you are in a nightmare but they can never have the love that you do - 

But it is taking so much from you - and I can see it - you are alone and you don't know what to do with the money you have

You need to care for yourself - you have had so much in the change of circumstances of your life recently - inside the past year - and it takes time to sort yourself out and find yourself out. It takes energy you seem not to have right now

I have walked often along the beach on chilly summer evenings and found myself alone and learned to be alone - this is pretty hard stuff - I know - it was a long time ago when I had first sold the family home and moved to a unit on my own. It was a hard time but come March I went back to University and started my Minor Thesis.

It was a whole new life - and here you are - it's a whole new life

You are you here? That is the question. And a hard one to answer

Your money though - it's not the answer to your problems but it is something to make your life easier - keep it safe - it is for you and you in your new life

I hear you - I know - I get it

Dec

[Former-Member]

 

Finally could afford the little flower pots 180 each.

@Owlunar id love to travel with you@

[Former-Member]

Well, being able to afford things does help a little. This is my new car, well it’s 2nd hand but good enough and will fit all my stuff if I gotta leave dad’s place quickly. Strange how having a place of my own to sleep (a van) makes a difference. And quell the gossips with me using dad’s car. 

Must say, I don’t ‘feel’ much of anything but know it’s good to be independent, I think, with conflict anyway. 

Hard to celebrate when in pain. Lower back really painful lately.

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member 

I get it about money.  You are right it does not solve all. 

I used to hate it when people threw money at a problem and did not do the Life's due diligence.

Still it is lovely you bought flower pots for your girl.

Caring and thoughtful use of money is very important.

We know you have done all the thinking and working through ...

Glad you braved those car salesmen to get your van.

Given all the negative energy about the house and potential for family conflict at the moment, having a van is a great idea.

Yep you deserve a place, but somehow you seem to be making very

good decisions Bella.

You are inspiring to many of us @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

You really think so @Appleblossom ? Made me cry, good tears, to hear you say that. Takes me so long to make a decisions, get so anxious I’m gonna stuff up, over and over. So much potential for error, and being ‘had’ - especially with cars & being a woman on her own.

Dad’s car needs work for Rego, Public Guardian authorised bringing dad’s car up to roadworthy standard, so finally a constructive exchange there (after I bought my own car of cause). One day they’ll realise dad doesn’t need a car anymore 😏 I know this but figure when they sell everything off (to get permanent placement in today’s aged care), it will be worth more registered. 

I get so tired of all this, but everything ends.

Thanks for encouragement 🌷💕