Life fails!

[Queenie]

So I've been feeling utterly low of late and desperately trying the fake it til you make it thing again. I am thinking of dropping out of college and giving up on my uni dreams. I haven't been to class at all this week (and now have no classes until next week). What have I been doing while my Mrs leaves early in the morning to go to class? Lying in bed all day. I don't even sleep in the same room as her at the moment. I find so little to be excited about and there is so little enjoyment in my life I feel.

I am still half believing that my NDIS package will be taken off of me and I'll be left without any support at all.

What the heck is wrong with me? I'm just tired of hitting the ground running all the time.

[Queenie]

Tomorrow I am supposed to be going to the city to interview service providers to find my best fit for my NDIS plan. I cba at the moment but cannot put it off either. 

I freaking give up on myself. I am a lost cause I think. 

I lie in bed all day, yet don't sleep properly (if I do sleep all my dreams are the same about my mother dying). I used to think these dreams were all a message from her to keep on keeping on. Now I am utterly confused!

Anyway that's where I am now. Not in crisis but not happy either. 

Signed, the ugly Queen.

[Queenie]

I feel like nobody really 'gets' me or bothers trying to understand. 

Crying.

I've gotta take a break, so ciao for now.

[utopia]

@Queenie what a rough time you are going through.  Sounds like depression has his grasp on you at the moment. 

Please don't drop Uni. Just leave it for a while. Hopefully this period will soon pass and you'll be able to study again. 

Thinking of you and sending you some love and support. 

[Shaz51]

Hugs @Queenie 

[Former-Member]

Sorry to hear how tough things have been lately, @Queenie. I'm sure things won't always feel like they do right now. It sounds like you've been doing really well with your course. I hope the week off helps with feeling able to tackle it again. Take care 🙂

[outlander]

hi @Queenie
how are you going?

[outlander]

Hi @Queenie how are you going?

[Queenie]

Hey @outlander, I've been through the wringer, but am slowly coming out the other side. I just got home yesterday from a week at the recovery house where I worked pretty darn hard on myself. I still have unbelievable paranoia and anxiety associated with that, but am getting there bit by bit. Thank you for asking

[outlander]

hi @Queenie
nice to hear from you. bit by bit, baby steps. they all count