@Owlunar @Shaz51 @Gazza75 @MDT @Former-Member and others following
Dear mum
I’ve been angry with you for a long time. Actually 9 years.
You see over 40 yrs ago, when I was aged 9-12 I was sexually abused by your neighbour, your brother and your son. Yes you read right - your son.
Where were you? Where were you all those years ago. Why didn’t you help me, save me, rescue me. Why didn’t you stop it from happening.
where were my hugs and love.
All I ever wanted was for you to believe me, hug me and love me.
I lost all trust in all people including you.
When I told you 9 years ago I got into trouble for speaking up. I was yelled at, I was finger pointed and not believed - all by you.
How can you not believe me?
How could you be so cold about this. How could you let me walk out of your house hysterically without even consoling me. How can you just sit there even now and not talk about it. How can you ignore the situation that your first daughter born was sexually abused.
You always wanted to hide things from dad. Don’t tell dad this snd don’t tell him that. Why. Even to this day I don’t even know if he knows.
I’m angry. A mum is meant to nurture their children. Mums are meant to love unconditionally- but with you there were always conditions.
I craved for your love as a child. I needed you but you were never there.
Maybe when I was born 10 weeks prem I shouldn’t have survived. You weren’t even there for me then either.
to this day I still struggle with the abuse and the diagnosis of BPD depression anxiety and ptsd.
do you know thst so many times I’ve self harm and thought of ending my life -all because of what happened to me as a child and the lack of love I got from you.
Life is full of struggles stress pain tears.
I know in my heart that I’ve done nothing wrong. I was taken advantage of.
I hope that one day you can see what you’ve done to me. But if you don’t I know that I did nothing wrong. But you as a mother failed me big time.
