A long rave

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @greenpea .... 😊

That all sounds very exciting .... in a good way.

❤️

[greenpea]

@Faith-and-Hope Thanks Faith-and-Hope and you are right :).

[Exoplanet]

Hello Mazy @Mazarita, @Sophia1, @outlander, @CheerBear, @Teej, @PeppiPatty

I'm all set up, it's a great spot, looking out over the dam, there's even a shelter over
the table & chairs . . . I've got a roof!!! 😄 😄 😄 & there's toilets & showers . . .
hot showers!!!! Had a spinkling of rain, but I don't think muds a problem as it's a
pebbley/gravel ground. Lots of birds here including Pelicans & seagulls!?!
@eth I'm off grid - ish, I don't have a powered site, but I have a portable solar
panel {& invertor} to charge the car battery I brought with me 🙂
@greenpea, it's a nice quiet spot, although there are other people here!! 😮 But
no ones partying . . . it's all quiet 🙂 Yes, you read it right, I have my electric, hand
held cattle prod with me 🙂 Glad to hear everythihg seems to be coming together for you ❤️
@Appleblossom, Thank you ❤️ Most of the time my 'get up & go' feels like it got
up & went . . . but I'm here 🙂 It doesn't feel real, I doesn't feel like it's me that's
here . . . but it is 😄
@Faith-and-Hope, my adventure started as soon as I headed out, my GPS took me along
roads (local) that I'd never been along before 🙂 Then it gave me a tour of this area as
it had me go in a round about way to find the spot 🙂 But I'm here!!! Woo Hoo!!!

[greenpea]

@Exoplanet Dear Exoplanet have a fabulous time. It really does sound great. Can you give us a daily update on what you are up to? I really will be very interested as I would never be so brave to do what you are doing. Hot showers and all the bird life how wonderful is that 🙂 thanks for your kind words. xxx

[Mazarita]

Good morning, @CheerBear, thinking of you again on this early morning 'wake-break'. Will be returning to sleep very soon. The sky is still dark sky here, with just a couple of early morning birds making a bright call to the sun not far beyond the horizon. Love and good wishes for you this day. 

[CheerBear]

Morning @Mazarita and everyone here. Thank you for your lovely goodmornings Maz.

I haven't been feeling great and have been fighting off some decent sized hopeless feelings. I'm trying to figure out how to heal and move on from something that maybe isn't over and it seems to be a pickle for myself and my support people in terms of where to from here. The words "permanent" and "disability" go around and around also, and it's been feeling really big and heavy sometimes.

Anxiety is stepping aside to allow depression to make itself known again. I haven't been as energetic as I usually am, to the point where it's been tempting to go back to bed during the day which isn't very me of me and annoys me a lot. Everything has felt like a huge effort this week. I'm still doing what I need to do and I'm really trying to hold on to the good (which thankfully there really is a lot of if I can open my eyes to it), but it is taking it out of me and I'm tired often. I see my GP tomorrow and will talk about a mood stabiliser. It's been something that the people I work with have had very different opinions about, but I think it's time now.

I'm sure I have missed a bit here this week but I have caught that you're feeling a little better Mazarita and I'm really glad for you that you are. Often thinking of you especially in the early mornings and sending you buckets of ❤ from my quiet little coffee spot. Thank you again for your thoughts which have given me a big smile.

💙 to all

[Sophia1]

Hello @CheerBear

Not wanting to intrude on your private conversation...

I respect your words and feel for you knowing only too well that tipping of depression...anxiety....the seesaw experience..

I won't write an essay..

just to gently say to you...please don't be like me....your own worst enemy...self-critical....such high expectations of self...

trying to fix everything and be everything to everyone else except yourself...

It felt like reading my own story and brought tears..

You are exhausted...tired....weary.....you are allowed to be....you can tell the depression and anxiety that you know they are there...you are not ignoring them...they can stop knocking on your door for awhile...whilst you get some well earned rest...probably not sleep which is elusive during these times even though much needed...

pure simple rest....depression and anxiety can be in the background...you are safe

I dont expect this to be the answer to your situation....it might not make the slightest difference..

I hope that it might help knowing that it is not all you....it is the nature of the struggles with selves..

you still have to work through it...you will be better able to do this after resting...

Sophia

[Sophia1]

Hello @Exoplanet

Yeah..

Well done you made it....

Pat yourself on the back and be proud...

Look at your reward...

The world at it's best....surrounded by nature....birdlife...animal life...

people....hmm...annoying isn't it when you go to a spot where even though they  are shared facilities...why should they be there when you are there??? I get that...

you do make me laugh with your resourcefulness....portable solar panel & invertor.....electric hand held cattle prod...

whoah no one will come near you laugh...

you seriously would be so good at a community centre...schools...I'll stop...

have the wildest...relaxing...well deserved phew ....camping....what a luxury....at one with nature..

can't wait to hear about your adventures..

enjoy

Sophia

[Mazarita]

Hi @CheerBear, great to hear from you after your few days of time out from the forum. I feel for you in a situation that feels perhaps ongoing and therefore difficult to move on from. Your feelings of swinging from anxiety to depression are very understandable under such circumstances.

Hopeless feelings are so hard to deal with. I was in that dark place just a week ago, yet now feel so much better. I'm hoping your recovery from a depressed state of mind will come very soon too.

I hear you too about the difficult processing of those terms, 'permanent' and 'disability'. Those are terms on paper, related to officialdom, not an accurate indication of your actual future life, which I believe promises much more potential than such words can describe. As I see it, those words are simply means to a current end (ie. meeting current needs for support). But I do get that it's hard not to define ourselves when those big words are printed there on official papers.

Hugs for the big struggle that has been involved in getting through this week. Your strength shines through in your ability to do what needs to be done regardless.

I hope your GP visit is helpful in discussing possible new medication, whether a mood stabiliser or maybe even an anti-depressant, which in some cases (like mine) can be helpful with both depression and anxiety. For what it's worth, I myself would only decide such matters in consultation with my psychiatrist. But take all this mention of medications with a grain of salt as you see fit. It really relates only to my experiences, diagnosis and situation.

I love thinking of you in your quiet little coffee spot in the early mornings, and especially meeting you there in real time when that synchronicity happens too. Loads of love heading your way, as always. 

[Mazarita]

Hi @eth, @Exoplanet, @greenpea, @Sophia1 and everyone, wishing all a kind day. Hope to catch up and respond to you later. For now, I'm off to watch a double episode of 'Frasier' on this quiet, overcast, indoors day. Staying awake and doing a few useful and/or enjoyable things around the flat are my main aims for today. Love to all.