A long rave

[outlander]

thank you @Mazarita

[Teej]

Hi @Mazarita

today I was looking for a swift kick up the gentle Maz motivation to get going if you were around. I’d had a self destruct session and was just wanting to curl up in a ball instead of going out. I did get out though so I’m guessing your telepathic skills worked a treat 😜. I hope your time with your friend was nice. 💜🤗

[Mazarita]

Awesome that you made it out, @Teej. Way to go! 

My time with my close friend was good, and so was getting out of the flat into the sun. But I have been paranoid all day about the possible new friend who rang at 5am this morning. It's an overreaction that I'm sometimes prone to. My social anxiety is pretty deep, even when I keep a 'poker face' most of the time. My anxiety in general today has been very high, fearful of lots of things, including fears the bus was going to crash, that there might be people on the street I was walking on that wanted to hurt me, etc. It went on and on. Glad I'm home now and that C is here. Basically okay at the moment, though still feeling rattled.

[Teej]

I only read before about your new friend @Mazarita. I think look after you too. I couldn’t do that with anyone now. I would self sacrifice hugely and I’m guessing you would too. I’m sorry your day was full of anxiety. I hope you can distract and get into flow with creating something maybe. I came home early today but after I realised I was actually doing self care. I had flipped my lid by the time I met my friend and it took all I had to try to be present with her. I’m glad I went but I came home and curled up in a ball and slept an exhausted sleep. I think I know what is setting me off too. Too many changes for me and too many unknowns. 

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Teej

Learning about up the proverbial your sense of humour Bella ... 

I have had a good day, Staying inside. Changing after shower from one set of pjs to another.  Debauchery!  Both my son and I have been very productive in this weekend that was supposed to be a rest and recovery time. 

Must be a sign that last week was a very good week.

@outlander Sorry you dont feel well enough to post much, but good you let us know you are around. I was concerned.

@Mazarita

Hope you are travelling well.

@The-red-centaur You seem in a crisis situation. 

I do hope your MH workers can come through and

for you to be able to work well together.

[Teej]

😂 @Appleblossom. I’d noticed you were catching on to my humour and it makes me smile. I’m so loving hearing about your life right now. There is a strong sense of grounding and some settledness in your writing. 

PS hint when I’m hormonal my language usually reflects that too 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:. 

[Mazarita]

I have been doing creative stuff since after dinner, @Teej. Being at home doing that is calming the rattled feelings somewhat, but they haven't yet gone away. I'm worried now about how to back out of this connection that I've started with this woman, as it's triggering me too much to cope with. I'll work it out somehow though.

I'm glad you went out too, even if it meant curling up into a sleep ball afterwards. Sorry you are being rocked by change and feel out of control with the unknowns. I kind of relate to that feeling today too. ox

Hi @Appleblossom, go pajamas! 

[Appleblossom]

Who would have thought typing with a line through it would be funny.  I always wondered why the forum even had it as an option.

 @Teej

Sorry you were woken at an unearthly hour. It could be enough to shift your mood when feeling vulnerable.

Sorry also that it seemed as if I ignored you @Mazarita You had not posted about your day when I was composing my last post.

New friends are tricky.  I am swotting up on the subject ... der ... typical me 

[Faith-and-Hope]

It’s okay to put gentle boundaries up around your new “friend” @Mazarita and see if she settles within them.  A 5am call is too early in most people’s estimation, and a bit of an alarm bell about respecting boundaries.  Once a friendship is actually established, both of you tend to know what sort of behaviour, and how much of it, the friendship can support, but it does take time, and a sort of social dance, to negotiate your way there, and it sounds like this new person in your life is gate-crashing ..... you are entitled to the sanctuary of who you let in, and at what sort of speed, and expect a knock and a preparedness to wait for your response first.

That’s my thought anyway .....

💜

[Mazarita]

Thanks to you too, @Faith-and-Hope. Appreciate your words. 

How has your day been?

Feeling you under the like button, @CheerBear. Waves.