14th year house bound

[hiddenite]

Hey Jacques

The girl's are in bed they had a good day, and they are happy.

For me I'm here in this room it's like everything is happening again it just keeps replaying over and over. I can't stop my head going a million miles an hour.

Filled with dread and horror.

I'm so stupid thinking that I can be stronger

I'm scared I will end up back in hospital, that's going over and over how truly awful that place is. 

That I am too weak

That I'm going to end up like him

Sorry

Panic

Overwhelmed

Scared

[Jacques]

Karen, i am glad the girls had a good day.

It must be so difficult, it is so hard to stop the mind racing, you need to find a way to destract yourself, i usually put some headphones on and listen to music, loud enough to drown out the thoughts.

Karen you are not weak, Karen just by you being their shows how strong you really are, you are the strongest person i know.

I know you are struggling and i hope you are able to manage, i hope you to be able to deal with the triggers without going to hospital, but remember you need to care.

Karen you are a special person, you will never end up like him, you have not reason to be sorry, i know you are overwhelmed, just keep talking, we can change the topic if you like.

[hiddenite]

Sorry j can't get a clear topic while my head won't slow down.

This room is so cold, you can feel the temperature drop as soon as I walk in.

It scares me.

I feel like I'm being haunted

That his wish was to break me

Sorry if I'm nnot making sense

[Jacques]

Karen do you have an iphone or android phone/ tablet?

[Jacques]

i know the feeling Karen, i used to get that feeling at my grandparents house, i was always so scared of their place.

Karen, my angel you are making perfect sense, his wish was to break you, to control you, to own you, but guess what Karen? he has not succeeded, you are a strong woman, a loving mother, and you are living your life without him.  he has not won, you have my angel, you just need to remember you are a wonderful person with a kind heart, you are moving on with your life, you are standing up to him by your actions, proving you are stronger than him.

[hiddenite]

Jacques I have a Samsung android phone, and android tablet why?

[Jacques]

Ok Karen,

What is your favourite food?

What is your favourite colour?

What is your favourite smell?

Karen remember distraction is key, you must distract your train of thought.

[hiddenite]

My favorite food is chicken parmagana

Smoked hams and cheese yum

My favorite color is blue

My favorite smell is my essential oil called sanctuary

Thanks Jacques

[Jacques]

Karen you can download these on either your phone or tablet, probably tablet would be best

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.jdpapps.paintmandalas

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.calm.android

Please download these now, they will help for tonight

[Jacques]

Please download this too, i use this one in my bad times

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.hivebrain.andrewjohnson.relaxlite&hl=en