14th year house bound

[hiddenite]

I will try and remember, I think I'm going to keep the light on.

Jacques I will tell you another time about my house, I'm sorry so exhausted.

Good night my true friend

Karen

[NikNik]

Good night Karen. Don't forget some of these options to take care of yourself (I'm stealing the ones you suggested to Jacques)

Acceptance

Use your senses

Breathing meditation

Safe place mental imagery

Positive affirmations

Break your days into hours

Tara pod cast

Mandalas

Walking meditation

Distract

[Jacques]

Karen, i wish i could be their to protect you, you are a special friend i would do anything for, i know you are safe, that gives me comfort, i just hope you will be able to make some nice memories their this trip, focus on the animals, and plants, the sea, feel the sand between your toes, feel the textures of the plants, the smell too.

my thoughts will be with you tonight, i know you will struggle, but i am here to support you no matter what.

Rest well my friend, i hope you manage some sleep tonight, we will speak tomorrow.

Good night my angel.

Jacques

[Jacques]

Morning My angel,

How did you go last night Karen?, i could imagine it was the most difficult night in a while, i hope you managed some rest through the night, and i hope teddy is ok, i hope you didn't wrestle him again

Karen i was thinking about how you where going to manage all night, i was really worried for you, but it is morning and if you are reading this, you have made it my friend, i am proud of you, what you are going through their i coudl only imagine.

Well my angel since you are their i want you to at least try to go for a walk along the beach every day, breath in the salt air, try to feel things (the wind in your hair, the feel of the sand between your toes, etc) use your senses Karen.

I am here if you are feeling overwhelmed, i have to trim some trees this morning, but i should be online this afternoon.

Take care my friend, your strength is such an inspiration, you are a good mother.

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques

It was a really difficult night constant night terrors and anxiety attacks. I'm exhausted.

They seem so real like it's happening over and over. My fault for not making him happy, for not saying no, for not being a good enough person.

Completely lost the present and reality.

I don't feel safe at all.

Only another 8 nights to go:(

Hope the sun is shining for you j

Karen

[Jacques]

Hi Karen, well at least you made the night, hopefully the first was the hardest and things get a little easier from here on.

Yes PTSD can make things so life like, things that happened to me 20 years ago I can flash back like I am still their. It must be so difficult having such a large number of triggers.

Karen I will be here for as long as you need me, hold your teddy tight, I promise the time will go quick. Have you detached yet? Sometimes when the body and brain shut down it makes things a little easier. It does for me in high anxiety situations.

Karen my thoughts are with you always, I hope things get a little easier.

Good luck my friend.

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques

I hope you managed to get all your gardening done. You are such an inspiration to me the reason why I fight.

You must be exhausted, are you having a well deserved rest this afternoon.

Yes I have managed to detach I know it's not a good thing but it's all I know how when things are this traumatic.

My treating team think I'll end up having another break down, too fragile to manage this amount of trauma.

My mum told them that l need to face things and stop running away and hiding.

Thank for checking on me j

Don't know which way this will go.

How did you manage to get through your Xmas holiday in one piece. I'm open to any suggestions.

Karen

[Former-Member]

Hey Karen,

Everyone copes through their experiences in their own way. Remember to remind yourself of how strong and great you truly are. Not only as a person, but as a mother.

Like @Jacques has said earlier, you are sacrificing your own wellbeing for your daughters, which is admirable!  

Hope you can enjoy this sun! 

[Jacques]

Karen in a way it is probably best that you detached it will allow your brain to handle the trauma.

How did I cope you ask, I kept very busy, cooked, cleaned oh I cleaned so much, gave into my ocd and did not go to bed until I was so exhausted I could barley walk their.

Don't allow yourself to think too much, it will only make things worse, that is why I kept busy as a destruction.

I hope this helps Karen, keep fighting, I am in your corner!!!!

Jacques

[hiddenite]

I have my essential oils, crystals, Angelite,hiddenite, jasper.

I took the girls for a walk and we saw the plover chicks and one hatching out of an egg.

My youngest was so excited.

Your right j the ocd thing and cleaning especially in a different house sure keeps me busy.

I appreciate the support.

I can't express how much it means to me

Take care 

Karen