A little while ago, on the recommendation of Beyond Blue, I got in contact with Mensline. Im struggling with my mood/emotions trying to regulate them. They focused on my current mood, not that they are cycling. I gave them my whole spiel (pre-written) so they had that I was BP2 with psychotic features and the whole sister thing etc. Everything was there and then it was what have you done in the past and I said I just allow them to pass etc. What about breathing journalling etc. I said I do breathing for anxiety and I write on SANE, gives me more purpose in wrting than a diary. I get well keep writing.
Heres my point, Im writing, Ive told you Im writing, its not working enough, its not managing my mood/emotion swings. I was after something more. Im running on fumes and I need someone to help me find the nearest pump not tell me how good Im going for no fuel in my tank.
I get my situation is unique (Ill post my spiel below to explain what Ive said) but Im tired, really tired. Ive had a recent and decent Psychotic Break, Im trying to avoid another. My emotions/moods are erratic which I dont deal well with. Im not an overly emotional person and they are all coming out to play and I dont know how to deal with that and they just skipped over everything and focused on the depressed state Im in now.
Hi, my name is XXXXXX, 43, live with parents and sister
Everyone is disabled.
Mum is currently in hospital as is my sister.
My sister is in hospital as she attempted suicide for a second time
I found her and its kinda messed me up.
Been my sisters carer for past 4 and a bit months as she has moved between psych and general hospitals
I was going down basically daily, an hour trip either way
I started to have hallucinations, Audible, visual and tactile.
This turned to delusions mixed with visual and then delusional on their own
That turned into the world not being real and there were cracks from our world to another.
Then Mum and Dad were impostors and everyone else just wasnt real, except my sister
So I ended up having a psychotic break, all while looking after my sister
Part way through my break I had a spinal procedure, burn the nerve endings where my spine meets my hips
The recovery time was meant to be 2 days, ended up in increasing pain and was put on XX drug on top all my normal (a lot) of pain medication
Pain lessening but still pretty bad, very limited movement. Waiting onn surgeon to contact for further instruction.
Seeing cardiologist as ER want investigation into potential heart disease
I have bladder cancer and am changing urologist, we are trying to get this done urgently as I was peeing blood
I have Bipolar 2 with psychotic features, Depression, severe anxiety
Ive suffered from chronic pain for over 20 years
Im disconnected socially
Financially my family and medical situation has caused massive financial hardship
My emotions/moods are quite erratic at the moment and Im not able to well manage them.
Im sad, mad (a lot mad), snappy, content more than happy, anxious like crazy (2 XXX medication today and still anxious),Im worried (mainly about another break), I want to cry but cant, don know that I know how anymore, im depressed and a random cycle repeats.
While I have Bipolar 2 I can, along with help from medication, generally manage them to some extent and just be pleasant
I know this is a lot but you need to know whats going on and tying this in the chat would use all time we had. If my situation is outside your scope or too complex I wont be offended if you bow out of this chat.
