@Hurting2311 @Linny6162 ...... (@ symbol attached to the username sends a notification or “tag” as it’s called)
I felt so some in our middle until I found the forums. It was an eating disorder support service that suggested it to me, because that feeling of utter helplessness is devestating. I didn’t know where to go or what to do, and my hubby was becoming increasingly controlling over the rest of us, and the household systems, and our resources, and our ability to socialise.
I tried to speak to the family doctor to no avail, because my husband had lost an awful lot of weight and had come off life-support medication as a result ...... therefore no early intervention was available. I was seen as attempting to sabotage his “success” without any medical people realising that the pendulum had swung waaaaayyyy too far in the opposite direction.
It’s not that he is in denial as such ..... he actually has no insight into this being a problem, so his only reaction is to presume that there is something wrong with me.
I can’t tell you clearly enough how much I appreciate you sitting by your daughters and encouraging them through this. It’s actually all we can do once that awareness is there.
Without the awareness I have to project care towards my husband, but stand opposed to what he is doing regardless (as much as I can without the tension completely destroying the household) so that I am not enabling him by pretending it’s okay. It’s not okay. He is very unwell, without appearing to be on the surface ...., although I believe it’s beginning to show up.
Going to a psychologist myself helped, firstly in being able to tell somebody what was going on, and secondly, now I have a record that I have been attending a psychologist as the spouse of an eating disordered husband, who is seeking support for her family to be able to cope.
Of course hubby has presented that to others as his wife being unwell and needing to attend a psychologist for that reason ...... grrrr
Patience is our strongest virtue ...... but as you know, it is so hard to maintain long-term. This is where the support of a community is so valuable ......
Keep swimming .......
🐠🐠🐠
