Supporting a child

[Chris1969]

I have my own struggles but this is about my child.  He is 26 and lives away from home only b/c I am buying a place for him.  He has had jobs but they always fade away.  He's been diagnosed with depression, ADHD, autism, and BPD, but he's an expert at reading diagnostic criteria and getting a diagnosis so I don't know,.  I am probably autistic, however, and I suspect my mum had BPD  In any case, I just want to help him succeed in life and he seems to me to be stuck most of the time and I don't know what else to do.'

He is incidentally trans, which is not a mental disorder, but an extra level of struggle

[SMTW]

It sounds like you are doing an amazing job supporting your child. Even when they are adults , they will always be our children. I have a son (21) who I suspect is ASD although would be Asperger’s on the old scale . He is ADD and he may possibly have BIpolar disorder as his birth father has. He has similar struggles to your son so I understand how relentless it can be. It can also feel very isolating. Just know that you are not alone and that you are doing a wonderful job. 

[amber22]

Hey there @Chris1969, 

Thank you for opening up about your experience as a parent ❤️

Like @SMTW has said, I think you are doing an amazing job. 

Try to give yourself more credit when it comes to parenting, it is not an easy job, and you are doing great. 

Always here for support, 

Amber22

[Chris1969]

Thank you both, I appreciate it.  Of course I do all I can for my kids, it just seems hard to work out what the right thing is, sometimes

[SMTW]

It is . There’s no “right” answer . Just got to get through one  situation at a time . When you do , look back and realise how far you’ve come and how well you’ve done . 
I wish I could give you more answers or guidance but it’s a journey and it’s not easy but you are not alone. 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Chris1969 , have you found any services to link him to that might be able to help him?

In my line of work, I specialise in working with those with additional needs/ disability etc. One defining part of the job is to help them develop independence. As much as you are doing an amazing job with your son, you/he won’t be around forever.

Im not sure whether he qualifies to get support from specific services.

Or even to support him to get out in the community to strengthen connections? 

Can employment agencies support him to find and stay in a job?

Im just throwing out ideas at you. You can take them with a grain of salt, especially since I don’t know the ins and outs of your current situation.

But as others have mentioned, give yourself credit for the amazing work you are doing.

I am so glad you have reached out.

[Chris1969]

There was a service to help him become more independent, he's been on the waiting list for years.  Centrelink has randomly cut him off several times for 6 months and he's lived off my support.  He does talk to a number of mental health professionals, he manages that.