Newbie - feeling lost

[LHW865]

Hi, I'm new here. I'm feeling lost and am not used to chat forums. I've had a bit of a look around, but a lot of what I can see seems old (2021, 2022??). I think I'm missing something. Any advice?

My son (21 yo) recently attempted suicide, after many, many, many, many years of threatening to do so. He was discharged from hospital with no follow up services. I'm beside myself with worry. I don't know how to support him and take care of myself. How do we heal and move forward after this? I'm scared he will try again.

[tyme]

Hey there @LHW865 ,

I'm so sorry to hear about your son. It sounds so upsetting. It is understandable that you are feeling the way you do.

Does he talk to you much? 

From my own experiences, it was a good idea that when someone felt suicidal to take them to emergency rather than wait for an attempt. That way, the hospital may realise he needs more support.

I'm not sure if your area has the HOPE program? This is a post- suicidal engagement program. There are both youth services and adult services that run this program. If you do a web search, you'll get more info. 

I hope things get better. Please look out for yourself too.

[Ainjoule]

Hey @LHW865 

Welcome to the forums...they can be a little bit tricky to navigate when you first join. They are currently doing some work to help people navigate the forums. The easiest place to see where the active threads are is to go to the "Latest Posts" section both under the Lived Experience Forum and the Carer's Forum. I was confused myself when I first joined the forums. These sections move quite fast, but do have some long posts that were started back in 2021 or 2022 that still get added to today. Let me know if you want me to do a few screenshots to help you find your way around. 

I'm sorry to hear about your son's attempt. @tyme had some good suggestions. Do you have a good GP?...on Medicare you can get a Mental Health Care Plan that allows for up to 10 psychologist visits (6 to start and then 4 upon a further trip to the GP). I would also very much agree with @tyme to take him back to emergency if he is feeling suicidal because there may be more support that can be offered. Some districts have a team that can provide short/medium term follow up. Personally, my GP provide me with a lot of support and she knows a lot about what is available in the area so that would probably be my first port of call in your situation...both to find support for yourself, and your son. 

[8ppleTree]

Hi @LHW865 and welcome to the forums 👍

Sorry to hear that your son was discharged without any follow up supports. I also think that contacting your GP and potentially some of the community run mental health hubs might be the way to go. 

StandBy Support  is a service for anyone impacted by suicide, they may also be able to help. 

You are not alone You may have already seen this on the SANE website, but this has further information for those supporting others.  

https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/  

It might even be worth contacting the hospital again to find out whether they have services or links.

Hope you are all getting better x 

[LHW865]

Thank you Tyme and the other kind people who replied.

The HOPE program looks like it might be a Victorian initiative - we're in Queensland. 

I will reach out to StandBy. I'm not sure if they help people post suicide attempt. The webpage kind of reads like it's for people bereaved by suicide.

Sadly, my son is reluctant to engage with any support services (very long story) and has an absolute phobia of hospitals. I had to organise an Emergency Examination Authority to get him seen when he made his attempt. He was still conscious and able to tell me to leave him alone and let things happen. Then while he was in hospital, under a guardianship order, he just wanted to go home. It was horrendous. 

We don't have any family to help us. It's just the two of us and my elderly mum (who I care for). I'm really finding it hard. 

I'm trying to take things one day at a time. Some days he's not too bad, others he is in the depths of depression and despair. I struggle not to go down the rabbit-hole with him...

[Missyandme]

I'm new too, and finding it difficult finding my way around the site but its worth it. Just to write down my situation gives me a little relief. My Grandson needs to see a psychologist Phsychiatrist but won't go willingly , so for us it's a waiting game. He is not suicidal atm but has been in the past. My partner & I are taking it one day at a time. Also, I went to a Dr. And got a M.H.plan & can now see a psychologist to help me & get some info on how to help. One Day at A Time for us too. Take Care of yourself too 🫂

[8ppleTree]

Hi @LHW865 

As @Missyandme suggested, it might be worth getting a mental health care plan for yourself. You are in a position where you're caring for two other people and need to ensure that you are supported, too. 

It sounds like a really tough situation to be in, if your son isn't ready to acknowledge the state of his mental health and the impact it's having. It can be particularly tough for men to reach out. Mensline  is another service that may be useful.  

Please take care of yourself. SANE also have a Support Line: 1800 187 263 (10AM - 8PM) which you can call if you ever feel like a chat away from the forums.

[tyme]

Hi @LHW865 and @Missyandme ,

How are things going for you?

Any progress @LHW865 ? I'm not sure if anyone has suggested Carers Australia to see if they can direct you to anything in your area?