Need Advice

[Sprezzi]

Hello to all,

First time and in desperate need of help.  I am having difficulties with my sister who is a terrible alcoholic- she has been in and out of rehab for the last 5 years, but recently came home 2 weeks ago after 8 weeks in the facility.  She started drinking again 2 hours after being home and has not stopped since.  We are now at a bottle of Vodka per day ( that we know of ) and it is taking its toll.  I also care for my 86 yr old mother who has a rare form of blood cancer and its killing her - I do not know what to do.  She gets drunk and abusive, belligerent, and bullies my mother.  I can take the bullying but not my Mum.  I am at my wits end and  seeking advice - anything will help 

Cheers Sprezzi

[tyme]

Hi @Sprezzi ,

Thank you for posting. I'm sorry this is happening to you and your mother. I wish I could share more, but I don't know enough in this area.

But please know you are not alone. I hope others reading will be able to share their insights into what is happening for you.

Do you have any phone numbers from your sister's rehab that you can phone to ask questions? Perhaps they direct you?

Sitting with you, tyme

[Sprezzi]

Hi Tyme

Thank you for your kind words - I plan on calling Rehab facility on Monday but to be perfectly honest I don’t know what they can do - its been 2 long years of in and out and it never helps - but will continue to try anything at this stage - its tough 

Cheers and thanks again

Sprezzi

[tyme]

At this point, I'm not sure I'd be looking at how to change your sister @Sprezzi . If 5 years of in and out hasn't done anything, I'm wondering whether she herself wants the change.

It reminds me of a lived experience talk I heard recently about how hard it is to 'recover' from gambling. It has to be a whole-hearted commitment, otherwise it doesn't work.

I'm more wondering about you contacting the facility so you can tell them YOUR situation and ask for people you can contact to get help for yourself. I think this is of utmost importance, especially seeing your mother is not well - neither of you should have to be subjected to the bullying and hurt from your sister.

If/when your sister is sober, are you able to speak to her to determine if she actually wants help?

tyme

[Sprezzi]

Hi @tyme 

When she is sober she never speaks - She is lonely which I understand but she does not want to help herself - she has been back at work for 3 days and is surrounded by nice caring people - just lost - I am calling rehab on Monday to seek help 

Cheers

Sprezzi

[tyme]

Arghhh... it's so tough @Sprezzi .. tough on everyone. 

I look forward to hearing how you go on Monday when you phone them. In the meantime, I'll keep my ears and eyes open.

Which state/territory do you reside? There are some state-specific services.

[greenpea]

@Sprezzi   hunny my dad was an alcholic. he made our lives hell. best thing he did was die at 76. i am here for you

[Sprezzi]

Hi Greenpea,

Thank you for your thoughts - it means a lot - I will never give up but its super tough - the hardest is my mother - she is  kind, generous, compassionate and she deserves so much better.  

Cheers

Sprezzi

[Sprezzi]

Hi Tyme

Gold Coast 

Cheers

Sprezzi