Hi I'm Chronos

[Chronos]

Hi I'm Chronos,

I am an early 30's guy who has a diagnosis of Schizoaffective disorder (SAD). I got diagnosed with psychosis at the age of 15, and then several years later, Schizophrenia and then Schizoaffective.

My mental health journey hasn't always been the best part of my life. Over the years I have learnt to live with the duality of being Audhd and living with at times a debilitating condition.

I find the hardest thing about this condition is that society often demonises and stigmatises people living with SAD. For context, I work full time in a corporate setting, luckily it's for a federal govt department, and not a private company. I think I would have been fired in the first 6 months if I had worked for private company. 

I used to do panel talks at established venues in my state, talking about my experiences of living in out-of-home care as a child, but post covid, I have found that I have developed Tourettes and a tic disorder, which has been diagnosed from my neurologist, and this has further cemented how the stress and anxiety from my comorbid disabiltiies have further put a strain on my life, and the fear that people at the venues I deliver talks to will judge me in certain ways.

I often ponder life, like i'm wandering aimlessly at this primordial ocean of dreams, and ambitions and hoping that I can at least allow myself a sense of contentedness that only part of my itinerary is fulfilled, and whilst there's much more to see and do, I feel an overwhelming sense of gloom when compared to what I wanted to achieve in my twenties.

I want to at least provide a modicum of comfort to others who have SAD, as I do not know anyone with this mental health diagnosis in my circles. I feel like everytime I read pubmed journals, that the prognosis is depressing. I want others out there with SAD that the outcomes can be positive, but I also understand the turmoil in the suffering at times, even when writing this post. There are definitely days where my mental health is worse, but having the appropriate plans in place is paramount to protect yourself.

Thanks for reading,

Chronos.

[rav3n]

hi @Chronos, 

welcome to the forums community!! we're excited to have you here 😊

thank you for sharing your story with us, it's absolutely valid to have those fears and worries - it sounds like you're working hard to overcome them and now, support others in a similar boat too. 

look forward to seeing you around the community 💗

[Dimity]

Hello @Chronos and welcome. I'm blown away by your self awareness and wish to help others. 

I've cycled through some diagnoses including schizophrenia BPD and bipolar but haven't landed the SAD one.

I'd like to acknowledge your continuity of employment and and know how hard that would have been to maintain at times, especially working with employers and workmates perceptions and responses. 

I do know people here on the forums living with SAD but something I've found is how much many of us have in common notwithstanding different diagnoses.  One thing that's striking is how many of us survived childhood adversity. 

I'll tag @RiverSeal a peer support worker with lived experience of a psychotic disorder, and I trust some other forums folk might reach out

@StuF @Bunniekins 

[Bunniekins]

@Chronos  hey Chronos i have had late diagnosis of SAD and ptsd.  i have a shaking hand due to medications which comes when i am anxious.  idk anyone outside the forum with SAD.  i am getting my shit together after so long.  you are right though it is a really misunderstood diagnosis.  it is not a sexy mental illness (if you get what i mean by that) i find it creeps up on me and then bam i have a hallucination be it visual for example.  some of mine would curl your side burns.  like i said though i am getting my shit together too long have i been in the shadows now i have to be brave and venture into the light step by step.

i'm glad you have made your way here.  i will add you to my bunny thread.  love bun xxx

[Bunniekins]

@Dimity   hey Dimity thank you for adding me to the conversation.  i would have pressed the support button if it was working for me ..... love bun. xxx

[StuF]

Welcome @Chronos  🙂

[Dimity]

❤️ @Bunniekins 

[GR_088]

Hi @Chronos. I also live with Schizoaffective. Wasn't a shock when I was diagnosed but sure has been a continues turning curve. Somehow I hold down a full time job and a second job most other days. I find it keeps my mind off it (to a degree) just when I think things are good, a shadow, a voice, something happens but I'm learning to ignore them as best I can.