Family support for schizophrenia sufferer

[marigold38]

Hi, 

How does a family learn how to best help and support their son/brother with schizophrenia? It is hard to know the right things to say or do when he interprets your attempts to help him with suspicion and it just pushes him further away. Are there any specialised counselling services or support groups in Sydney or on the Central Coast?

[Emelia8]

Hi @marigold38 and welcome to the Sane forums. I hope you receive the information and support you need and are seeking here.

@Anastasia is one of several members who may be able to help you. Unfortunately she is knee deep right now with her sons issues. I know she will get back to you as soon as she can however. 

Meantime @marigold38  ... please have a browse around the forums, do a search for any topics of particular interest and dont hesitate to ask questions if you need assistance in navigating the forums.

Emelia 😄

[Anastasia]

Hello @marigold38 and welcome to the forums...I would love to help you.  What support for your son do you have? 

Do you have supports for yourself?

Its lovely to meet you, it's a difficult road one which has many forks for me/us at present. 

Promise you, you're not alone it just feels that way. Big hugs from one mumma to another xox

Thanks beautiful @Emelia8 🙏💕

[marigold38]

Hi Anastasia, 

Thank you so much for your kind reply. Sorry for the misunderstanding in how I phrased my question. The man who has schizophrenia is my friend, he doesn't trust anyone, least of all his poor parents. He has barely a thread of trust remaining with me, even though his delusions have unfortunately now also dragged me in their narrative.  I do my best to forgive his unpleasant moods and accusations as I know he is deeply unwell and although I live with constant worry and knots in my stomach, he suffers exponentially more than those around him. His brother and sister keep their distance, his parents try to tread as lightly as possible to avoid further triggering his paranoia and distress. I am at breaking point because his family rely solely on me to make sure he is ok, and give them daily updates on his state. His trust in us is broken because he was admitted against his will to hospital earlier in the year after the local area health team became involved in his care. It was an emotionally horrific experience for him (and us) and while he was discharged with a new medication, clearer mind and calmer outlook, he stopped taking his tablets a few weeks ago without our knowledge because he thought they were making him fat. Now he is starting to spiral again and we are all so worried and traumatized it's all going to happen again. We don't know what to say to him, or how to help him anymore. Google says to avoid focussing on the delusions and change the subject or distract, I have no idea of that's right. His parents have never been given any strategies or advice on how to approach his paranoia. We cannot engage the local mental health team again as the severity of that experience destroyed his soul and he would never recover if they took over again. He has an appointment with his old family GP on Monday to discuss going back to an older medication he used to take that didn't make him fat ..   but he hides the truth of his symptoms with great expertise from his GP and I don't think the GP realises this is an emergency. The GP wont write him a script for a change of medication and will probably write him a referral to a private psychiatrist which will take who knows how long to get an appointment, and by the time he sees him it will be too late and he will be so ill he won't agree to take any medication at all. I need help, his family need help, we don't know what to do anymore. 

[Anastasia]

Please don't apologize, I misinterpreted it, it makes sense when I read it back @marigold38 

Just a hint, pop an @ symbol in front of my name and I'll receive a notification that you've messaged me. I have subscribed to this so I'll still come in and check but it just means I can answer sooner if the need be.

I have a world of pain at present with my boy so I'm sorry not a huge amount to offer except these few points...I hope they help. 🙏

Firstly your friend can only get help if he's willing. I'm assuming he's an adult?

Secondly a GP should not be prescribing the sorts of meds he would be taking...I know the ones that cause weight gain. He needs a psychiatrist who specialises in meds and the mix and the like. The GP can give a referral. Do some research first on local psychiatrists in his area. He might have a preference to gender, age etc...

You and the family need support, a psychologist to talk/offload to. Talk to your GPs and ask for a mental health plan. This will allow you 6 or possibly 10 visits that you can claim some (depending on their charge) outlay back from Medicare.

I TOTALLY understand why he and the family are scared to re admit to hospital, I've been there with my boy and it was terrifying for both of us.

If they/he has private health insurance I have a wealth of knowledge around it...but I will wait to hear back from you because hand on heart the big question...

Does he want help?

Love and hugs dear Marigold, you are a good friend x

[Anastasia]

Reread your post @marigold38 and yes he's a adult.

Sorry my capacity to retain information is little at present and I use my phone so can't see the message that you wrote easily when replying.

If he won't seek help which sounds like the case then if he is danger to himself or others the mental health team will step back in...they have to.

I think the most important thing you can do is get yourself some therapy, especially if your friend won't get help. 

Take care x

[patientpatient]

"We cannot engage the local mental health team again as the severity of that experience destroyed his soul and he would never recover if they took over again." Is there a way to engage the local team and avoid some of the problems? The local mental health team and hospital may be the only accessible support available at short notice. You do say that "he was discharged with a new medication, clearer mind and calmer outlook..." and that's a good outcome. My son (who has Sz) was very upset that we 'put him in hospital'. I really had no idea and didn't know he'd become an involuntary patient and unable to leave. It was a hugely difficult time but years later, we realise that hospital was the best option for him.

You and his parents can write a letter to the GP, and outline very clearly what's happening. The GP won't discuss with you but they do have the information you provided. Note that your friend won't like it if he finds out about the letter.

Weight gain is a problem with some meds. My son gained 20kg and has had to change medication several times because of unwanted side-effects. So wanting to change is okay... but taking no meds is not okay. However your friend seems to realise that, since he's going to the GP to get alternative meds.  

If the GP can get new meds started, you could also try to find a good psychologist. Suggest looking for a clinical psychologist experienced with Sz. Under a MHCP (mental health care plan) your friend can have up to 20 bulk-billed sessions a year. 

All the best, I hope some of this might help.

[lingard]

Hi, Marigold.

I imagine the G.P. appointment has now come and gone. If your friend was prescribed medication and it's working, that's great. If not.....hmm. As Patient Patient said, for someone with an acute exacerbation of Schizophrenia, not taking medication is not okay - for your friend, for his parents, and for you (as his friend). Despite the fact that he is quite unwell, he still has some measure of responsibility in this. You say that having him scheduled to hospital "destroyed his sole". And that sounds very dramatic and unpleasant. I know a lot of people have had very traumatic experiences with being scheduled to hospital - but at the end of the day, I could think of far worse things that could happen. I had to arrange for my son to be scheduled last year - and he hated my guts for it ........ for about three months. He's fine now, though, and we get on really well again. What I'm saying is, don't totally rule out calling the mental health team again just because your friend had a bad experience the first time. There is, however, a possible alternative. You could make an appointment with the local Community Mental Health Team, and sit down with the team leader and explain the circumstances (you could also ask your friend's parents to accompnay you or to ring in seperately).

The Mental Health Team has the capacity to apply for a Community Treatment Order without your friend having to go to hospital if they feel that this would be the most beneficial way to go. If you explained to them how much he was traumatised by the first admission, they might just consider that option. Best of luck whichever way it goes. It is very sad for your friend, but equally sad for his parents and you (maybe even more so).

Cheers.