Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope - I share that exact hope my friend. But most people who decide such and leave the forum have always said in some degree  "I am taking a break for awhile or am leaving the forum. Not just goodbye. And when I and others posted her back saying "it's okay to leave, You don't have to talk" - just please post one word to let us know you are okay. Why didn't she? That makes no sense if she was just deciding to leave.

My daughter posted the exact same thing on FB just before her attempt. Saying goodbye without explanation can be a common red flag to either attempting or comtemplating suicide - that's why I and perhaps @utopia@Former-Member can't leave it that, as the "not knowing" is causing some distress. A welfare check would of eased that but I believe there are legal strictions to doing so here. I have had numerous welfare checks enacted on my daughter by the police when concerned. And it was not always because she threatened suicided but in other circumstances - They happily obliged and to my knowledge will do so when mental health issues are concerned. 

And yes ironically she exhibited the very same behaviour of her friend which she stated caused her such pain. I just can't see her doing that knowing how much it can cause distress in others she called "sis" and family as that's cruel.  So I remain concerned. Hugs xxx🌹

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Former-Member .... she didn't access the forum at all past that point of posting .... hasn't, at this stage, "looked back" to see what any of the responses were .... we know that much .... and if she doesn't want to be found, or suspects that emergency services would be sent to check on her, she would likely have turned off her phone and left the house.

It came across to me like a giant dummy-spit  .... like FMIL !! ... so I am hopeful she has just walked away from everything and is in a cool-down or soul-searching place, and will come back to some sort of picking up again, but even then, may be too embarrassed to return here ....

I would encourage everyone to keep dropping "we miss you and wish you to come back" messages into different threads, and wait to see ....

Hold the line everybody .... whatever is happening with Zoe, we still all need each other too, and are hurting ....

Gently, gently ... with ourselves and each other ..... ❤️

[Former-Member]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope - I didn't realise she had not seen the responses. How can one tell this? Hopefully it is just because of a dummy spit and not because she harmed herself. But it is looking like we may never know...And it is true we do still need each other and that's what we will keep doing here, giving the best support we can. Thanks my friend xx 

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope  - what does FMIL stand for?

[Anony18]

Hi @suzanne - haven't gone through all pages of this thread. Will do so after I write. Hope I am not too late. Am 3 hours behind AEDT so was at work. When my partner initially isolated me and said he had MI and needs space...the lack of understanding impacted me a lot. Not knowing what to do and the right actions given his lack of communication and his isolation hurt. I found myself struggling to sleep, getting anxious at times myself causing more troubled and lack of sleep, emotionally exhausted and hardly eating. It lead to me becoming this joyous person to someone who kept to myself and in turn isolated my friends. I isolated them more as I couldn't turn to them as they were judgmental and telling me what I should do, ie leave him cause he obviously doesn't care or love you, given they have not experienced this. My mind was constantly thinking about the "issue" and how to "fix it" that I was mentally exhausted. Finding these forums and getting advice from people like @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom have helped me a lot the past year. I learnt to take more comfort in my activities I love as a temporarily relief from my mind and learnt that there is no right "fix" and it's a step by step.

I still have those days where I do go quiet, I start to worry and get anxious and still cause me have troubled sleep. Sometimes it's the pressures of my job. I don't like it at times that I have to isolate my friends at times but I know if I am open like I use to be...what they say will cause me to be angry at them as I know the judgment that comes out. And the assumption that it's because of my partner when these days it's more other things. Am not sure if that is a good or bad thing. 

[Anony18]

I went through the thread and read all comments. I know am hours late and am so sorry for this delayed participation. A lot of comments resonated with me...a lot of words such as - emotional numbing by @Former-Member, snappiness by @Tanoozle - things I experienced lot of last year and with time lessen as I learnt how to care for the carer (myself). It is hard not to over-care, especially in my case where I am the person my friends and staff confide in. It's hard to say No when I have my own personal issues to deal with sometimes. I admit I put on this facade and my outlet other than my dance lately is wanting to do things on my own like watch movies at the last minute. Wanting to be more spontaneous with my activities most times than have my friend's plan and diarise every meet up way way in advance. It's cause me be less attentive to my phone than before. I question if this is a bad thing at times and if I am becoming a bad person, becoming selfish.

Sorry for the rant....thanks @suzanne for the topic. Definitely really good tips here 😊💕

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Former-Member ....

It means "F%#k My Life!" in exasperation for current events .... Diprotodron did one on Worry Room yesterday ....

I think this, because the action our friend has taken in posting then not returning goes against all the principles they professed prior to this .... which leads me to believe the underlying principles may be holding her in check as she takes a time out from everything, rather than what we have been fearing. And it would make sense that even a security check would have been dodged with a turned off phone and absence from home. Someone who doesn't want to be found, generally won't be .... but when things settle it can be hard for them to reemerge .... and that's where we can leave the welcome mat out for her at least.

[Faith-and-Hope]

There is a way of checking member activity. Don't worry about it for now .... just let it rest .... the mods will be watching for her to visit, even if she doesn't post ....

❤️ @Former-Member

[Faith-and-Hope]

Group hug .... 🐾

[Shaz51]

Hello my friend @Anony18

sending you hugs

I have to remember that Topic tuesday start up here at 6pm

Love to have a cuppa with you , so lets go over to

Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Hello @Appleblossom, @Faith-and-Hope , @Former-Member xx