I have read somewhere today that we give trauma energy to retraumatised us - or something like that - if we remember it. But how do you forget!?
On the night of my 17th birthday my dad, brother and granddad went to pick up my uncle from the border, to get him out of the war zone. I think my grandma must have been in hospital as she wasn't there, or perhaps my granddad just came to pick up my uncle.
I had a friend with me at home. My mum got delivered a video tape from the war zone. She watched it and I don't know what she did then. I watched it with my friend. I saw the roads I used to walk, the houses I used to stay at and I saw a lot of dead people and amongst the waxern looking faces of the dead, I saw familiar faces. It felt surreal until I saw the dead, until I saw my family, until I saw my granddad lifting his hand as if he wanted to greet someone and then he collapsed outside a building. It was the day my other uncle died.
How can you forget things that scar you for life?
