sex

[PeppiPatty]

I think your original Question is awesome so let's just focus on you @Former-Member and all us women who are sorting your question out. since your question came out I've had good changes in my life 🎸🎻🍂🍁

[Former-Member]

@PeppiPatty I'm really happy your having some great changes in your life at the moment. I brought up this discussion as I found zero help on google and wanted to talk to real people about what they are going through so we don't feel alone and can have some to relate to and also get guidance and information to help us make better decisions.

I did not though come onto the site to feel worse about myself and my fears of mother hood randomly be brought up and told I need sympathy. That left me in a very aggressive deppresion special yesterday. And yes I know it problaly wasn't meant that way and words can be read differently. But I think for the moment in my treatment I'm just going to isolate my self from the out side world and peoples opinions of what I'm capable of.

[PeppiPatty]

You should feel safe on this site
If you don't you can always speak to someone : @NikNik is so cool and so is @CherryBimb

[Mazarita]

Hi @Former-Member,

I hope you can stay and find a place on this forum that is helpful for you. Bear in mind that, with the exception of moderators and community managers, all of us here are living our own experience with mental illness. This means the discussion goes in all sorts of directions at times, some not always to our preference. 

It's a very interesting discussion you have opened in regards to sexuality and mental illness. It's something that is so rarely talked about in detail and seems important because of that. To get back to that issue, I think that what consenting adults do sexually is their own choice. But the question that comes to mind with what you have revealed is whether you are okay with your sex life being so extremely passionate or whether you would like to see a change. I especially related to the part of your earlier message where you talked about looking into your husband's eyes and focussing on love, but that's me.

I hope I'm not out of line saying any of this. I'm always hoping for the best for everyone on this forum, however they choose to define that.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, I'm sorry that being here in the Forums wasn't helpful for you yesterday.  @Mazarita has summed up the situation wonderfully.  I genuinely believe that our members mean well and post out of a desire to help and be supportive.  But that comes through the funnel of our own experiences, state of health and communication style.  And of course we read other peoples comments through the same lens.  It's kind of a miracle that we manage so well mostly! 

I the fact that you brought this topic up and have been so open and brave and vulnerable.  It's such an important issue.  I hope that when you've developed the necessary trust with your psychiatrist you are able to share this again.  Our sex lives are unique and all that really counts is that you reach a place where you and your partner are happy with how things are.  

I hope you stick around @Former-Member as I've enjoyed reading your posts and thinking about the topics you have raised. 

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member

I did think it was a great thread topic and took courage. I really like that women are discussing the topic more broadly and not just dismissing it as a headache and an imposition which often happens. Yes it is natural. I did want to ground the topic in a deeper way.

I think compassion is a good idea generally, tho am learning not to get taken advantage of. I most def did not say YOU needed sympathy and am very sorry that you were upset about the motherhood connection.

Your courage and determination to do lots of things is wonderful.  Keep it up.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member I hope you don't mind me jumping into revive this thread - I really think it is a really good one! 🙂 Though sex and sexuality can be a sensitive subject for many, it's wonderful to see you have been so open and authentic in raising the discussion with the community. The coversations that have resulted from your initial post have provided some wonderful food for thought, but I think there is even more ground to cover yet! The SANE Help Centre team here have been very encouraged by the honesty and authenticity you (and others) have shown on the Forums, and it has highlighted how much more we really need to be talking about these issues and bringing them into the light. You might like to check out @Former-Member's recent blog post here which was prompted by some of these conversations on the Forums. 

Also, @Former-Member will be hosting a Topic Tuesday tomorrow night between 7pm-9pm (AEST) on sex, intimacy and mental illness. So I just wanted to let you and the others know who originally posted here (@chookmojo  @Appleblossom @PeppiPatty  @Mazarita) that this is happening. If you have any questions, comments or updates you'd like to share with the community, please feel free to come along and join in the fun! Who doesn't like a good heart-to-heart chat about sex, right? 🙂 Hope to see you there. 

[GothMum]

Just noticed this thread. Thank you @Former-Member and others. I have been trying to work this out too. Intimacy stopped just after the birth of my daughter over 9 years ago. I wonder if I will ever be in an intimate relationship again. I miss it, but not enough to hook up with anyone... I'm not expecting anyone will take on me with all my stuff and all my kids' stuff. I'm mostly comfortable in my singularity currently, and I find this stuff really hard to talk about, but I finally managed to see a diagnostic psychiatrist, and touched on some of this, including my "fantasy romance" ideals, and what they 'mean' at the sub/unconscious 'archetype' level which I think will be helpful in the long term. I missed the Tuesday topic on this, but I think this is a big issue. Btw, I'm reading "the Sex Myth" by expat Aussie, Rachel Hills, which is both very readable and also well researched; and also listening to a beautiful song, 'everlong' (foo fighters), which reminds me of a wonderful, pure, love affair when I was very young. I am a better person now, but my intimate life doesn't reflect that... I'm still dealing with the emotional and cellular memory scars of my childhood abuse.

I believe in reincarnation; if only as a way of being able to deal with the excessive load of shirt that has been dumped on me during this life - next time round, my karmic account will be in so much credit.....

[Shaz51]

Hello @GothMum, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Appleblossom, @Former-Member, @PeppiPatty, @kiki

very interesting tread

[Shaz51]

Hello @Appleblossom xx