When did everything get so screwed up?

[corli]

Seven years ago my mom died. I was 14 when it all happened and I guess I never got over it because I was really trying not to feel anything. I was doing okay being like that for couple of years and eventually I felt better. Or I thought. At the beginning of this year my best friend's dad died, all of a sudden. She kept comparing her self to me, how she now understands me how I feel and how hard it is. And I was always there for her when she needed to talk. But in the same time every single bad emotion came back. I feel like this year put me back in my dark place and I can't get out. I started self harm again, starving myself, feeling sad, I'm maybe falling my classes. I would be better if I could go back to being just without emotions but I don't want to be that person again. I'm thinking about getting some help but I'm still not sure. I feel like my world is falling apart.

[Kurra]

Go get that help @corli it can make such a difference. No one wants to fall apart. Just one phone call to your GP to make an appointment and you're on your way to gluing everything together so that you can be the person you want to be.
Have courage. You have a wonderful future ahead.
Take care and keep writing to us. 🎶

[Appleblossom]

Hi @corli It doesnt hurt to ask for an appointment.  I was told to do that when I was 16 and it did save my life and help my make decisions.  I lost my dad at 11 ...  the grief wheel turns around and we often revisit old griefs.  Triggers can be both pleasant memories that soothe us that we can "save" in our database, memories of a parent can affirm our identity and sense of self but also trigger abandonment and anger at the loss.

it is great to have a friend to share with .. but these days counselling is so readily available ... so it is good to make use of it. These are the reasons it is great .. and get in early .. and save yourself heart ache ..

 It is important not to get stuck in grief and mutually trigger each other without understanding.