This entry discusses suicide. Never been so close....

[IsAnybodyThere]

I want to be honest. I have been on the Disability Support Pension since 1983. I have had many ups and downs. Mainly downs. Right now I have never been in such a trough. Never before have I actually made plans for suicide. I have actually started making physical preparations. I have given myself 2 options. Both of which are pretty foolproof.

 I even have a date in mind. Maybe some might say; If you're going to do it, but I plan for a fairly full day without wife or daughter here.

  Yes I have a wife and daughter, but I was less lonely when I was alone. At least I didn't have people treating me with disdain, coercive behaviour or ignoring me.

Had enough. Can't do it anymore.

IsAnybodyThere.

[simplesymbol]

That sounds pretty rough @IsAnybodyThere.  Am sorry to read that you're going through such a painful time right now.  Since this isn't a crisis service it's important you know that there are crisis services you can call in case you feel you need that.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat 

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling 

Samaritans: 135 247 

If in immediate danger: 000 

In the longer term, I hope you and your family can be closer.  This seems to be what you really want.  Will be in touch via email to check in.

[IsAnybodyThere]

Thank you. Never had much luck with LifeLine or Beyond Blue in the past.

[simplesymbol]

Just saw this after emailing you.  I have some other ideas which I'll send via email.

[IsAnybodyThere]

I am just so lonely. My wife ensures I don't have friends and I personally don't know how to relate to males.

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @IsAnybodyThere You are sitting with some really big stuff there and I am hearing how helpless and alone you feel. Do you have a psychologist you see? 

When you say your wife ensures you don't have any friends, that sounds really isolating and makes me think a chat to someone at 1800respect might be helpful. Have you spoken with them before about this?

I also wanted to share with you this suicide prevention resource

It talks about Safe Haven cafes and there are some online support groups as well. One thing I have learnt about suicide prevention is that it's important to have someone you can call when you have those thoughts. It could be a neighbour or anyone you trust, call a helpline or join an online support group. I hope you find something useful in this. 

I know you said you have difficultly relating to men but in case it is of use to you I'm sharing this resource Men's Shed 

It might be a place to start in learning about how to interact with other men and help you build some community. 

We are here to listen and you are not alone, so please keep checking in with us if you feel up to it.

Please take care,

Paperdaisy 

[Eve7]

Hi @IsAnybodyThere  I am sorry your life appears to be closing in on you. 

I don’t know what your disability is but are you able to go for a walk or run or surf? Sometimes getting some exercise lifts our mood just for a moment in time and that can be enough to keep us alive today.

A running group can be really supportive and something you could do just for you.

Just some thoughts…take care mate

⭐️

[NatureLover]

Hi @IsAnybodyThere , I feel for you, and I'm sorry about where you're at 😞

I have been in your position many times in my life, and all I can say is that I'm very glad I'm still here. It is possible for life to get better, even when things seem utterly hopeless and you can't see a way forward. 

Do you have a counsellor or psychologist you can unburden to?

[wellwellwellnez]

Very much here @IsAnybodyThere . Hearing your concerns loud and clear. Thanks for sharing. I've also lived in more than one coercive relationships. Some more extreme than others. It's a big issue. Society is definitely to blame. On behalf of society, we're all extremely sorry (even when some of don't admit it).

There's ways to fix relationships and/or get out them, depending on what you need to be able to live while being alive. It's good that you're asking hard questions.

[jay2]

Hi, Is any body there, I have never tried Lifeline, but Beyond Blue gives me the shivers ,has contributors who think they are shrinks and want to delve deeper into your business or are straight out rude about problems they have never experienced. I use them as a last resort.  Always end up at SANE..People seem a bit more balanced and in the know they are also kinder and more pleasant with their replies.@jay2