TW: it feels like I'm drowning

[tyme]

I hear you @creative_writer .

Your feelings are valid.

We hear you and are sitting with you. You are not alone.

tyme

[creative_writer]

Hi @Eve7. I hope you are well ❤️❤️❤️

@tyme I’m still sorting through this. I think I have sort of internalised things, maybe that’s what is keeping me stuck. I am older and I understand things better, need to comfort my younger inexperienced self.

[creative_writer]

Still awake right now. Things went downhill from yesterday afternoon. Im having a bad headache on my left side, eyebrow area and I feel so anxious. While I am safe wrapped up in bed, a part of me wishes to not be here😩.

[Zoe7]

Hi @creative_writer I have been away for sometime as I was burnt out. I am slowly trying to make my way back and wanted to check in with you. I am sorry I left so suddenly but am glad you had support here from some of our peer support workers @tyme @hanami @Former-Member @Paperdaisy @cloudcore and our wonderful @Eve7 Would love a check in when you can to see how you are going.

[creative_writer]

@Zoe7 that’s completely understandable. I’ve been away for a bit too, was engaging in avoidance behaviour for a while, didn’t really want to talk about MH so just came back today. I was triggered last Friday so things went downhill from then. I hope you feel better soon ❤️❤️.

[Former-Member]

Good afternoon @creative_writer, so nice to meet you. I'm TuxedoCat, one of the peer support workers here. 

Thank you so much for sharing that you're struggling right now ❤️ I'm so sorry to hear that you're in a tough spot at the moment.  It's a real strength that you recognised that you needed a break. Sounds like you know yourself really well. What have you been doing to cope since last Friday?

Is there anything you usually do when you're feeling this way that might help?

I can relate so much to that feeling of things going "downhill". When I don't feel like talking about MH but I still want to feel connected to our community here, I like to find one of the social posts and have a scroll through. Are there any that you enjoy being on? 

Big hugs and welcome back, 

TuxedoCat

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member I think it wasn’t only about talking about MH, I think I just didn’t want to talk to people. It’s not that I don’t feel supported on here, I do, and there are a lot of amazing people on the forums. It can be less overwhelming to be alone. I haven’t done anything but use my ordinary coping strategies like distraction, it did get really bad so I had to reach out to Sane help centre, I’ve also used some relaxation stuff. I’ve been spending too much time in bed, I feel physically weak too and my head feels heavy. I’m just contemplating whether to do my Lifeline shift tomorrow, it was my last shift that triggered me. It can be hard to talk to someone who has experienced a similar nature of trauma.

[Former-Member]

oh @creative_writer that is so understandable. I've only been at SANE for about a month now and I know it's been a real adjustment for me. Like you, it's been difficult to hear stories which are similar to my own.  And feeling some apprehension about doing a shift is  completely natural, given it sent you for a bit of spin.

It's completely ok to take some more time to recover if you feel like it's needed ❤️ Especially when you're doing such great work with the community

I'm so glad you reached out for extra support and you've got so many coping strategies in your tool box. I know when I'm feeling triggered in my body and head or I haven't left bed for a while, some small movements like stretching or a gentle walk can really help me. Maybe that might help?

We're here to listen if you want, or just know we're sitting with you if you just want some quiet ❤️ 

[Zoe7]

Thank you for checking in @creative_writer Slowly, slowly for me to come back - understand how triggering some things can be and the need to avoid anything MH related for a while. It got too much for me and am certainly going to be very selective on what I read and respond to for a while.

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member I feel like sometimes people assume that you’ve got it all together if you are working or volunteering in the mental health sector. Like they people think you have the answers. I genuinely don’t even know what I’m doing with my life a lot of the time. It creates this sense of shame, like you’re supposed to be trained. During this interaction with this individual, I just felt like leaving once I realised what she was talking about. I didn’t debrief afterwards because I just felt numb (since I disassociated) and didn’t have the energy to process it. I was afraid of debriefing afterwards because I don’t want to have to talk about something so personal with someone I barely know.

@Zoe7 I think it’s okay to step back at times, things can be triggering, it’s part of self-care. Ultimately, you’re the most important person ❤️❤️.