TW: it feels like I'm drowning

[creative_writer]

@cloudcore I’ve responded to your email. I think I’m just very exhausted from today, didn’t sleep well. I experience depersonalisation and derealisation a lot when emotions get hard to manage, and feeling so disconnected can make me feel so lost.

[TideisTurning]

Totally understandable @creative_writer. I hope you will find some connection here on the Forums, and know we are sitting with you in the meantime 💜

[creative_writer]

@TideisTurning I honestly don’t know what I can do. I’m so tired that I’m in bed right now. Sleep deprivation really does hit me when it happens. I just hope things are okay by tommorow I have a ton to catch up on.

[TideisTurning]

That sounds tough @creative_writer. I know the feeling of being absolutely exhausted yet having heaps to do. It helps me if I'm able to be a little kind, patient and gentle with myself. Also pacing myself and trying to do as much as I can, one thing at a time and taking a moment, no matter how small, to celebrate those achievements. 

[creative_writer]

@TideisTurning pacing oneself does help. I won’t be working on my assignment until tomorrow. I barely managed to do much uni stuff today. I’m tight with schedules now, already got extensions. Tomorrow is another day. I just hope my mind isn’t so messy tomorrow. I think sleep deprivation seems to trigger more thoughts around trauma.

[creative_writer]

I woke up from a rough night of sleep. I recall a dream. My brain is fried😔. I feel really anxious and I can’t convince myself I am okay and safe.

[TideisTurning]

It's really hard when sleep is interrupted and leaves you feeling rough @creative_writer. Sometimes, having a light (or several) on in another room helps me. Please take care and be gentle with yourself today 💜 

[creative_writer]

@TideisTurning sleep deprivation can aggravate any anxieties that I already hold. I think my dream also triggered emotions of not feeling safe. I know it was only a dream but felt real in the moment.

[TideisTurning]

I hear you @creative_writer. What you're saying makes total sense. I feel like sleep deprivation and exhaustion can amplify the impacts of many things. It doesn't help when there are triggers around sleep either- dreams can feel incredibly real and leave us feeling disorientated and distressed. I'm wondering if there is anything you can think of to help restore those feelings of safety? What helps you feel safe?

[creative_writer]

@TideisTurning I think I’ve been procrastinating all morning to block it out. Probably not the best thing I can do. Otherwise feeling wrapped up and warm in bed helps me feel safe. Or anything that warms me up like a cuppa. It’s so cold here today.