TW: it feels like I'm drowning

[creative_writer]

@Zoe7fun generally more productive if I  wake up at a reasonable time and not spending so long in bed, because that way I feel I haven’t wasted the day. It’s gotten so bad lately, I’ve spent like up to an hour on my phone after waking up. I know it’s not a very healthy coping strategy. I think people naturally start developing habits to distract themselves from painful thoughts. I generally spend too much time on my phone and should cut down on it.

[Zoe7]

It often takes us twice as long to break those habits than it does to develop them @creative_writer We have to find ways to occupy our time that puts those unhealthier things out of our mind, but not develop another habit to replace it - small steps.

[creative_writer]

@Zoe7 definitely takes a lot of willpower, but it only happens slowly. I haven’t spent as much time on my phone today. And managed a bit of uni stuff, though I sort of wish I did more. But day was more normalised, I’ve been able to do a workout. It had been so long because my body was physically unwell. 

[Zoe7]

Getting back into the simpler things can often have a major impact for us @creative_writer Tomorrow is another day 👍💖

[creative_writer]

@Zoe7 I agree, sometimes returning to basics helps. I guess thinking that I have tons of work to do won’t really help. Even small changes is something.

[Zoe7]

Small changes can lead to bigger changes, even if it is slowly and over time ...we all need to start somewhere hey @creative_writer 💗

I have so much work to do but am taking a couple of hours to myself this evening to watch the footy. I will not think about work for those hours so I can fully enjoy the footy. Toby will no doubt be snuggled with me too so it will be a double win. I have become much better at compartmentalising things - so work time is work time and leisure is leisure (or in my case more rest time). I had a nice visit by my Mum this afternoon - she often just stays for a few minutes on her way home from appointments but she came to just visit today and spent over an hour with us. It was nice to just sit and chat - we never really do that. I now have to get stuck into some work before the footy and cross a couple of things off my list so it isn't as daunting later.

I hope you are having an okay day and getting some things done also. Remember - baby steps are still forward steps 💗

...and just wanted you to know - I am thoroughly enjoying our chats 😍 

[creative_writer]

@Zoe7 it’s been lovely talking to you too. I’m glade you found compartmentalising helpful. It does sound like a good strategy. I could try that. I hope you enjoy watching footy and hope things have been good for you today ❤️❤️. Is Toby your pet?

Actually haven’t been up to much. I’m working on the process of healing, while things have still been hard, it’s not as bad as it was before. I worked on my assignment, had lifeline supervision session, and bothered my family 😂.

[Zoe7]

It sounds like you have had quite a good day Hon - so pleased to hear that @creative_writer 😍

Compartmentalising has been my saviour. It took a while to be able to do but focussing on the task at hand, being in that moment, is a good strategy when there is so much going on. I set aside time to do things ie. when I come home from work it is housework and fur baby time, then dinner and whatever work I need to get done after that. Weekends I can pretty much right off the Saturday morning so I don't plan anything for then but depending on how much work I have to do (which is usually a lot) I set times and time limits for the rest of the weekend. Now that the footy is back - that is my time to rest and completely forget about work. I used to work at the same time but have found allowing myself that complete break to do something I love has really helped to re-focus when the footy is over.

Are you volunteering for Lifeline? If so that is really something Hon. 

Yes Toby is my pet ..he is a little white fluffball of a dog (but thinks he is a cat lol). I also have a cat (Clover) who thinks she is a dog - so they even each other out LOL

[creative_writer]

@Zoe7 having some time for yourself really does help. I feel like I work better with a schedule, I used to be super organised, maybe a little too much too. Need to balance organisation and flexibility in case one has those tough days.

I hope you enjoyed watching footy with your fur babies. I wish I had a little kitten. We considered adopting one, but it requires a lot of organisation in the house before we could get one. I think we’ve seen so many cats around our neighbourhood that we want one, we’ve even seen cat fights too. The neighbour’s cat is trying to move in with us 😂. She’s tried coming into our house quite a few times. And she has become quite friendly. My mum considers the neighbour’s cat her fourth kid now and my sister has the cat as her phone wallpaper. This kitty spends her time chilling outside our backyard. We do get other cats chilling around too.

I’ve been volunteering with lifeline, was on a break. But if things are good the next week, might be able to restart shifts after finishing my assignment.

Thank you for all the support, hun. It really means a lot to me ❤️❤️.

[Zoe7]

That's what we are here for Hon - to support each other and hold each other up. If I have been able to do just a little of that then I am happy to do so @creative_writer 😁

I have had my little Clover for a year now - she was so tiny when I got her. Her two brothers were with her and she was half their size - certainly the runt of the little. She is grown now but still a little cat. It is quite strange as my other cat was so much bigger. I lost her last year and still miss her everyday. She was so much of my life along with Toby when I was so unwell - they kept me alive more than once. I was chatting to my Mum today about where we buried her and what I want to put in (eventually). I have a knee injury at present so cannot do a lot. I had a scan yesterday so I will find out soon if I need surgery or not ...then it will be a long recovery - so Cat's corner will have to wait either way.

The footy has just finished and we had a win - didn't look too promising throughout the match but we pulled it off in the end - so I am proud of our boys for fighting back so well. My NRL team lost in the last seconds so 1 win and 1 loss for the day. Now I need to get into some work. I didn't realise our game tonight started so late so I will need to re-adjust my timeframe tonight so I can get some sleep as well.

I think it is wonderful you volunteer and hope you can go back this week. Balancing your commitments, study and shifts is hard but I have no doubt you can do it. Team @creative_writer here 😍