Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Oh @Former-Member, that must of given you such a fright! And would of shaken up your poor husband. It's wonderful how you came to his aid so well to comfort and heal. He is so lucky to have you. I admire your strength.

That is my concern presently. All my strength is gone presently. I can't understand that only yesterday I was washing walls and today I haven't left my bed. I can crash so quickly, that's the worry. My friend once said she has never seen such a change in a person. Does nothing for my confidence. And I can't afford to be this way with my husband's ill health. It's a real mess and somehow I have to crawl back up out of this black whole. If I go down - the whole household does. It just feels like it will never end.....Why can't I be stronger. Yet I feel catatonic. I can't have another breakdown. I desperately need sleep (didn't get much last night).

Yes, drugs changes and ruins a life dramatically. That is what I have faced with my daughter before - and she is with someone who is addicted presently. Just a matter of time until she folds again. That is what is bringing me down so much. I have to let her go before my mind does....I can relate to what your brother is going through poor man. It is a nightmare. Sometimes we can't save our children - they have to do it. It's heartbreaking. Is this the same brother who lost his daughter in an accident? Dear God, I hope not. 

I hope your husband is feeling okay now after his fall and that you have had a chance to unwind a bit this evening. Your posts don't add to my pain, although I wish you and your brother/nephew/husband didn't have to go through such suffering. It's nice to have someone to talk to who can relate. I have to face that for now I have lost my daughter again and I am pretty much on my own. Grief is so hard - mine seems eternal. But I suppose everything passes - it hurts like hell when in it. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for us both and I can stop crying. Thanks for being there @Former-Member ❤️

[Former-Member]

Oh dear @Former-Member, thats so hard for you.  I so hope you pick up quickly.  It does all take a tool though doesnt it?

Yes, its my brother who lost his little girl in the car accident. Now he fears he is losing his eldest son, who just turned 19.  He and his wife have done everything in their power to get help for him, but he seems to be beyond it.  Nothing more they can do.  And my brother found out yesterday that he owes his dealer quite a lot of money.  Geeze next there will be stand over men out on the farm demanding money.  God!

Yeah hubby has settled down a bit now and is resting.  He looks pretty bad though, and he broke his glasses as well.  Looks like a trip to the optometrist tomorrow morning to see if they can repair them.  Its his only set.

Sherry

[Former-Member]

It does take time @Former-Member. I can't let myself lye in bed again - I will have to force myself to move tomorrow no matter what. Depression is starting to swallow me up and I can't allow it. It's always harder for me in the mornings..it's get so heavy.....but my husband and best friend needs me.

Glad to read your husband has settled a bit, he must be feeling lost without being able to read etc. I hope he can watch TV to distract until tomorrow. I would be climbing the walls without distraction...

I so feel for your brother, wife and his son. I have lost children in a bad divorce (long story), now I am losing my only remaining child. The grief is unspeakable. Your brother and family are not safe in that situation @Former-Member and your brother cannot keep paying for his son's habit. You are right, there is nothing more they can do. His son needs to go back to rehab for his own protection also. I don't like to say it but he may also be safer in jail - it could save him (my daughter nearly ended up there). And maybe your brother may consider getting out of the area they live for awhile; start somewhere afresh away from other influences and where it's safer? I so feel for your brother.....Please keep me updated xxxx 

[Shaz51]

@Former-Member, are you ok my awesome friend

[Former-Member]

  Thanks @Shaz51.

Sherry  

[Shaz51]

ohhh sending you tender , loving hugs @Former-Member, sitting with you my friend xxxx

[Former-Member]

I was looking at social worker's counselling sessions etc and found that quite a few visit the home for the over 55s (I am 57 tomorrow), whom will support and counsel individuals struggling with depression/anxiety, grief & loss, social isolation, "Carers fatigue", life struggles and the list goes on. I was thinking of utilising these services after I move. It's also covered by Medicare and DVA and fees are reasonable. I think these services are pretty much everywhere in NSW at least and thought others may be interested??? @Former-Member - you may knew of this already? Has anyone used this service themselves @Former-Member? Great to have and know they are there in a emergency. Hope everyone is doing okay today.

[Former-Member]

I have accessed support through Carers Australia, Wellways and a rural health service @Former-Member. I have found these to be most helpful.

[Former-Member]

Thank you for that info @Former-Member. Nice to know those options are out there. It does get a bit much handling it all on our own continually......and I feel that having some backup now will help prevent me from spiralling down and digging a hole for myself. 

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member
Facing any major health challenge that our loved ones have is daunting, I could not do it on my own without any support.