Struggling with a marriage i shouldnt be in

[Ceebubbles]

Hi @Jhett707

I can appreciate your situation. While no two relationships are the same am struggling to know how to best let go of my childrens dad. I trully understand the depression side of it, i didnt until i moved him out and within a couple of weeks the air around me was just lighter. But our kids are still small and after awhile they asked daddy to move back in. Reluctantly i accepted thinking it was best for the kids but have been very clear on boundaries. That we were only living under same roof to help with day to day of the kids. He has never cheated on me so i cant say the reasons are the same, ultimately i am left between two hard places as i keep him living with me to help cover rent and basic expenses or ask him to leave and i will forever be the bad one that wouldnt 'look after daddy'. We have four kids under 8, two with additional needs.
I guess what i am trying to say is while we were living apart i was able to cut down my depression meds i was studying part time and keeping the household working. He has moved in and maybe more indirectly i have had to up my meds and looking to add to them again.
No one ever told me marriage was going to be this insanely complicated and i want to put my happiness towards the top of the pile but unfortunately am not in a relationship tht allows that kind of feelings to be expressed.

Wish there was an easy answer for you sorry i havent got anything to offer except understanding.

Ceebubbles

[Tigga19]

I can relate to how you're feeling.  I stayed in a toxic marriage for 16 years.  It's a horrible situation to be in.  Absolutely soul-destroying. 

Have faith in yourself and remember that you are stronger abd braver than you think.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Jhett707

Yeah .... your situation sux at the moment but it won't stay that way cos you're on to it ... !

As depressed as you're feeling at the moment, you are in fact stepping up, and there will come a time when you can take back a semblance of control ... at least enough to make some necessary life changes ....

Psychological support is imperative for you though .... and you will find a lot of that here .... so please stay around ... move around the forums and connect .... you will find it invaluable I'm sure, as we all have.

Youre not alone ...  and you will recognise that through other people's stories too ....

There are online counselling services.  Chat with Lifeline when you're feeling really low - 13 11 14 or if you go to their website you can chat online - https://www.lifeline.org.au

Some of our night owls keep company on the Night Shift thread.  I will tag you from there ....

Consider going to the GP and getting a referral and $ support to see a psychologist .... there will be a string of initial visits to get your story expstablished, then you can go back and see them at intervals that are appropriate to you, if nothing else, just to receive professional support for your life choices ....

Try to think of yourself in a house-share situation where you don't like your house-mate but you've sorta got to stay there cos you can't afford to move .... it helps to change your mindset a bit to help accommodate your circumstances.

All the best with it.  Chat soon. ....

🌷 F&H