Need to vent

[BlueBay]

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job.  It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas.  I then found a casual job at a supermarket.  The job I do is very boring.  I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff.  I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do.  she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.  

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate.  but that's how they do it.  i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers.  she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift.  i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift.  another girl replied after me.  the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers.  I was so annoyed, angry and then upset.    I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble.  so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers.  it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk.  some still didn't know i had gone!!!  but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners.  i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard.  there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap.  i try to go in and do my job and go home.  

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache.  i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor.  it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick.  and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job.  i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues.  and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

[MDT]

Hi @BlueBay

I like your honesty because it is refreshing. I also admire your perseverance.

I am feeling very similar in relation to my job atm too. I am paid the smallest wage and yet I am training people who have worked there for 20 years and haven't changed a single thing. It annoys me.

There are also politics and cliques at my work. I try my best to permeate that barrier and sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. Its rather difficult. I believe there are lessons in this experience.

Its hard to rise above the noise at a workplace but I've been doing my best.

The way I see it is that I have "a job" and that is perhaps the most important thing to keep on my mind. In today's economy, indeed for the next number of years it'll be a rough ride for many throughout the country.

I want to quit my job. I almost did actually. But I had to stick it out and now I get placed with taking on more responsibility and needing more positivity.

I am impressed by you my friend and youre pressing forward.

How many days a week are you working?

[BlueBay]

Hey my friend @MDT 

I wirk mon wed Friday. 8-12

i feel like a "nobody" doing the job I'm doing 

it doesn't matter 

I prob shouldn't have posted this 

I'm angry so angry and struggle to shake it

tbsnks for your message. I appreciate it xx

[MDT]

I get it @BlueBay
I feel that too at work

But I do believe attitude matters. Sometimes it is hard to get a better mindset.

I don't think it was a bad idea to post what you did. You're getting it out of your system which is helpful and important rather than bottling it up.

[BlueBay]

Not a good night 

triggers 

memories 

flashbacks 

sadness 

grief

over everything 

[Jynx]

Sitting beside you @BlueBay, sending care and support  

[Meowmy]

@BlueBay hope you feel better tonight. May be rain and storm will jist wash away all negative stuff and will be freah again. Take care. 

[BlueBay]

Thankyou @Meowmy xxoo

[BlueBay]

Don't talk about me behind my back 

I can hear you 

I'm not deaf

I'm been invalidated 

emotionally abused by your stupid bloody comments 

I'm not dumb

FFS

I'm to blame 

oh yeah it's always my fault 

[Emelia8]

@BlueBay  😔💕🌻

You know it isnt really your fault. How could it be Blue?  What happened to you in the past is not your fault.  Your resulting MI is not your fault. The way you feel now is not your fault.

Please try to be gentle with yourself, be kind and understanding ... just as you are to so many of us here.

And no .... you are most definitely not dumb.  Give yourself a break.

Take care my friend.  I care about you very much. 💞

Emelia 🌸