Hi @Serenity1
@CheerBear @Glenn ....
I am late to this discussion but now looking around the forums with new insight into what NPD actually is ..... I had thought that the overt form was what it was, but with the help of a counsellor I am recognising that the covert form is probably what was masquerading as all sorts of other things all over my life for a long time. There is a distinct pattern, and if you have been counselled on what NPD is, you can recognise it so clearly in hindsight - but as they say, it’s not usually until “the discard” is enacted that everything else starts making sense - the mask comes right off.
I am still reeling, but also feeling empowered rather than shattered. It explains why I have felts so confused, disoriented, with what started as stealth-abuse at first ..... it’s engineered that way, and causes empathic people to begin by questioning what they might be doing wrong, or moreso, not doing right .... so you keep trying to fix something that the other party is deliberately, systematically devaluating, and you along with it. It was never going to be fixed, but they left you believing it could be, because it provides the highest grade of “supply”.
I think you’re right on both counts, because NPD symptoms are now standing out to me like beacons, but I am also learning about the empath-narcissist attraction dynamic, and recognising that empathetic people are the greatest targets for supply for NPD people.
Interestingly, NPD is also being viewed as belonging within the PTSD spectrum. This, I could readily believe, as it helps to fit more pieces into our jigsaw puzzle.
It is also very hard to achieve a diagnosis for, because life is “working” for the NPD person - they don’t have any reason to want things to change - while leaving a path of destruction in the lives of everyone around them. They simply discard those who become too weak as supply, and start “mirroring” someone else, usually with a new mask that is so foreign to the one they were wearing previously, it’s jaw-dropping. Such is my new situation. Fits like a glove, and has floored everyone who knows him. It’s like he’s a completely different person, and so quickly, like overnight.
I am wondering how I could ever trust again, but it’s early days yet, and a helluva lot of garbage to get through before I am anywhere near that stage again.
I hear you, loud and clear, about exchanging one set of problems for another. As with @Glenn, I am hoping something has sorted itself for you now @Serenity1 and you are on the healing path.
