Is there anybody out there

[Radarears]

@tyme Thank you and yes I'm glad although now I have to search my house for all my documents etc. LOL.  I've been on a 6 month wait list but they've been great with communicating and suggesting and advising.  I'm struggling to stay coherent and present a logical concise precis but I'm sure she will help me with that. 🤞🤞🤞🙏🙏🙏 it's going to be very stressful and I'm so traumatised by the treatment that it truly has become a new medical trauma.  I already have a few of those in my trauma pedigree 😅 Anyhow I'm setting it aside until I'm feeling well enough to manage the distress.  Post Xmas I should be better equipped.  

[tyme]

I look forward to hearing how everything goes. Please be kind to yourself @Radarears 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Radarears , @hotmess , @GEEKAY , @tyme 

Touching base here to see how you are going this week 

[Radarears]

@Shaz51 is it ok to express the fact that despite my heroic efforts my twin traumas that are like a bad takeaway meal and strangely do seem to upset the stomach rather than the gut simply won't settle down?  I've been diligent and doing my homework exhausted all my go tos channelled the mental stress to get my cupboards clean and organised to allow the pest guy to lay cocky baits and impress my support workers.  Madly trying to clean rest of house and yard for same plus the New Year.  My pest guy always laughs and we have a great chat.  Sadly I've gone down with the sinuses again and I'll have to be brave and see a Dr plus accept that I simply have to lie on the bed and think dark thoughts about the pmh system and the persona non grata who are plaguing my thoughts and disturbing my sleep.   I'm trying to master the art of doing nothing.  Plus yoga nidra.  If anyone has a good go to app or have come up with their own version of same that would be helpful.  I tweak and adapt every strategy known to humankind and if it strikes a chord I can give it a go.  Because the body really needs deep sleep to heal.  And like Grumpy the Dwarf I'm grumpy bad tempered and irritable at times.  That was a clearance item coffee mug I just had to buy.  😅🤣😂

[hotmess]

I use the ahead app I struggle to get through anger , heartbreak and anxiety

[Radarears]

@hotmess thanks will try it.  Yep we are twins.  Anger, heartbreak, anxiety tick.  Tomorrow is my partners anniversary and due to a number of issues left me traumatised and impacted my ability to grieve.  I channel the anger to get the tough jobs done.  I've been struggling with the heartbreak and pain of loss.  However if it was you that asked about keeping the ibis outside I did come up with a creative solution.  I have a "kong wobbler" for dispensing cat food.  When I was outside watching the ibis inside I noticed one obviously female picking out the treats through the hole.  I filled it up put it outside and it worked.  Their long beak is narrow enough to pick out the biscuits.  Now I just scatter some cat food and whatever bread, cake, pastry when they come.  They don't come all that often but all the birds enjoy cake and pastry (in small amounts).  The cat biscuits and seed mix gives all the birds a balance.  None will eat veggie scraps.  😅😂😂

[tyme]

Hey there @Radarears @hotmess @Shaz51 @GEEKAY ,

How is everyone?

[Radarears]

@tyme Challenged.  Very challenged.  However nothing like the incentive of a gift card to overcome your shopping phobia.  Next door neighbour appreciated my kindness to her son and gave me a nice card.  The fact that he has been my glimmer, my entertainment and my bestie (until he discovered the phone) meant that I got the best end of the deal.  However with my trusty support worker in tow and a smaller chemist bill than budgeted for I got some lovely Rock man's pants 80% off and then hit kmart.  Things got a bit intense but I got a couple of things I needed abandoned the search for some other things and left feeling victorious.  And with some money left on the card.  Which will probably go toward the usual cat food.  I'm a bit over the constant monitoring and managing and controlling the multicomplex issues I have but thanks to support workers and their particular quirks and motivation I now have a spotless organised fridge, kitchen, cupboards and ready to wow everybody with pics.  It won't last.  But I was able to clear and declutter and have a clear conscience to see in the New Year. Still stacks of things that require actions but due to circumstance rather than me they are on hold. 😇😇😇🫠🫠🫠

[tyme]

I sure hear the challenge... I guess, Are you up for the challenge? Then again, you may not have the choice!

I'm so glad to hear your kitchen is spotless. My place is a mess. I've had my nibblings hanging around way too much and so there's mess everywhere. I feel like I've still go so much to do and I'm catching my tail. 

The bad thing is, I've had 8 days off... I've got no excuse! But I've been taking the kids to the park, going swimming, hanging out with people, eating out too much....and yes.. my house still looks like a tornado ripped through it!

I'm here to walking alongside you @Radarears . So glad to hear your neighbour shared their appreciation. That warms the heart 🙂

[Radarears]

@tyme yes i have to see them as challenges because I'm getting so overloaded and overwhelmed and I'm really debilitated and depleted.  A good friend says to me "what's wrong with doing nothing?"  That is my greatest challenge because your account of your time spent is indicative that you prioritised fun and family and as everyone knows the house looks like a pigsty 2 hours after its cleaned.  And if like me you get a load of mental energy you channel It and before you know it it's done.  I'm trying to get in control of my reactions and responses and manage to get myself under control so I can begin putting together my "appeal" with the advocate.  The medical trauma is so severe I'm going to need a 4th emdr treatment to get it even close to being manageable.  I'm hoping that I have sufficient focus and control to present a reasoned argument and find all the relevant documents and experts opinions and test results in order to get my right to a second opinion that won't be biased and prejudiced against me.  My mental health issues have now spread to the general public health clinics and I'm being challenged based on what I believe is a generalised assumption and misdiagnoses of not one but two disorders that I don't actually have.  Plus plus plus.  My ptsd/complex ptsd is extremely severe and it's been brushed aside in favour of the other diagnoses. 

TW: Weight loss

Content/trigger warning

So that and a "Shoulda gone to Specsavers" medical opinion that I need to drop ** kg or else and has to be done yesterday hasn't been easy to live with.  I have complex issues around food due to trauma and medical personnel who have always insisted I lose weight.  And exercise.  I'll refrain from suggesting "pot calling the kettle black" and "looked in the mirror lately" but if i view it as a "game on" and fi d a buddy then it's all good.  The buddy is a 29 y.o male who is up for the lise **kg by March challenge. 

I can only change how I deal with what I'm being told to do by medicos et Al who don't listen to anybody and never ask me what it is I actually do.  Sorry to offload but today is really challenging and I'm simply getting through 15 minutes at a time. 🤪😜🫣:face_with_rolling_eyes:🥵