Is there anybody out there

[tyme]

Hey @Radarears ,

Just a quick note that I've had to add a spoiler and trigger warning in your post above. Also, I've had to remove the number relating to kilograms so that your post could go live. This is in line with the guidelines around mentioning kilograms etc...

Besides that, I'm hearing you. It's not easy. I've also struggled with food and eating because of the medication I'm on. It's not easy at all. Not to mention the health conditions that come with it - arthritis, heart problems, liver, cholesterol, blood sugar.

Whatever it is, even if it's 5 mins at a time, do what you need. We are here for you. I'll be around if you need company.

[Shaz51]

Sitting with you @Radarears ❤️

[Radarears]

• @tyme @Shaz51 Thank you and sincerely apologise for the oversharing.  It's another indicator of how my brain is really instead of what I think it is.  I'm getting better at editing and wording with emails, texts anything and everything really but oops moments happen.  Plugging in the wrong device and wondering why it's not working and leaving the softener thingy off the washing machine are other flags that are better indicators that things aren't good than me or someone else telling me I'm doing well.  🫠Thank you to plugging in.  It's a pretty lonely road at times and sharing with people who get it does ease the burden and reduces the "is it just me?" syndrome  😅🤣😂

[tyme]

You know what? @Radarears 

I'm happy with chatting to you as you are - why change?

I love reading your posts.

We are here for you.

[Shaz51]

Love you sharing @Radarears , tag me anytime my friend 🧡 

[Radarears]

@tyme @Shaz51 Aaaw gee thanks.  You do know how to make a girl 😅🤣😂 feel better.  I am in double digits and some of my cousins consider us "old".  However the two numbers are usually single digits and interchangeable at short notice.😅🤣😂 the xray tech got it right when my broken foot was a ladder accident not I dropped something on it.  How old?  Mmmm. 😅🤣😂 Of course i couldn't finish without an update on the furchild.  He has a veritable fan club and I'm meeting more neighbours who know and see more of him than I do.  However atm he is dropping his little bundle and keeping mummy on her toes.  He's been getting taught DBT, CBT and advanced obedience training.  My psychologist thinks it's hilarious.  Having a support worker who has done the DBT I now know what it is and I've been diying for me and my bubby with pretty good results.  That and working on his vagus nerve techniques.  Singing works for us both.  Teaching him to beg to distract and reward probably wasn't the brightest idea for a cat given their nails are different to dogs.And they get used to tap you mid shin for the next bickie. 😅🤣😂o have a nice set of pin holes on my right leg.  😅🤣😂

[tyme]

Heya @Radarears , how's my friend today? 

What's happening?

Double digits? I feel I'm heading to triple digits....

[Radarears]

@tyme I'm seriously out to lunch and totally into what my cousin calls silly shit thoughts and trying not to get the "church giggles". 

My friend who gained her wings in early July has a partner who I've been supporting and sharing our loss for the past few months.  Given that there is a 2 week period when you can say your upset because your friend died and the friends she and I had in common some wouldn't speak to me at all and the others were good for 1 conversation it has been a healthy way to process and grieve but oh so painful and so sad.  But it has included lots of laughs and validation that despite her craziness she was a beautiful person.  He got completely overwhelmed last night by a trigger of her photo and he reached out   I'm OK with it because we have a shared ethnic background and I can hold his story in my heart but not absorb it   That said it is challenging but given that my grief load  (there were 2 subsequent significant losses straight after) is so enormous and the priority 1 and 2 are knocking me for 6 anyway I'm just allowing myself to feel sad, angry, cry whatever for whomever whenever   Add to that multiple physical malfunctions, the twin traumas that activated and the Mack Truck is part of a convoy. Today is Saturday   End of.  And I've got a serious case of "Don't wanna " and "Over it" in terms of managing and monitoring and doing all the things I should be doing to help myself get through.  So it's SULK SULK SULK. And because of the upcoming advocate whatever my review of my mh files has descended into the absurdity and stupidity of certain entries   It's the only thing that stops the rot so to speak.  You see one diagnosis is based on my neighbours mh history   I know this because they have attributed their ethnicity and Country of origin and their craziness to me   My cousins response to my informing her that her daughter (2nd cousin) was the reason for my other diagnosis.  She was happy to furnish the full mh history on her FATHERS side for my defence plus correctly identified what my main issue was.  I also have the neighbours full mh history plus thanks to two other cousins my own family mh history which is going to boil down to the fact that we are relatively normal really.  😅🤣😂

[Radarears]

Hi All

Just sharing that I'm suffering from a bad case of "over it".  All communing with nature is doing for me is testing my knowledge of insects.  I'm getting badly bitten yet again by something I have yet to identify.  Since the moggies aren't scratching its unlikely to be fleas.  Scratching like a demented ape gets you some odd looks when you're out in public.😅🤣😂 I'm also over doing "homework".  Miss Goody Two Shoes is doing her best to compile a 6 volume set of "go to" manuals for when things go pear shaped.  It was suggested by both my first psychologist and my counsellor that putting plans in writing that outline what to do so that you can refer to that rather than rely on untrustworthy memory would be a good idea.  And it is.  Only it's not as easy as it sounds.  I've filled an exercise book with "brainstorming" ideas, thoughts etc and it's become a procrastination project.   Which translates to every other task, physical therapy, cleaning, decluttering is getting done instead.  😅🤣😂