I will escape the minds prison

[Nospines]

Hello all I am new here. I'll just share the way I feel. I struggled with suicide ideation/attempts for a while but I gave up on that. Instead I've isolated myself and withdrawn from everyone and everything. In a way my life has died but I am still breathing. A form of self inflicted torture really. I no longer wanted to interact or participate as I have a strong feeling that this reality isn't real. That every person I see out in public is part of an elaborate scheme against me. They're all out to get me ya know. I have tried to get psychological help but I strongly felt that the psychologist is plotting against me aswell. In a world full of people who are just actors in a sick and twisted film about yourself, who can you speak to? 

[RiverSeal]

Hey @Nospines, thank you for sharing your experiences with the community!

It sounds like you are going through a tough time at the moment, and you are demonstrating your strength and resilience in sharing your thoughts and feelings with the community. The Forums are a great place to connect with others who share similar experiences, and we also have the Guided Recovery here at SANE. 

Perhaps you might like to connect with a Counsellor or Peer Support Worker over the phone and talk about what is going on for you. I will pop the referral link here if you feel like it would be beneficial for you: https://www.sane.org/referral?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA65m7BhAwEiwAAgu4JAER2hritEruhHTSkckfRZW2xMr... 

Take care

RiverSeal 

[rav3n]

hey there @Nospines i'm so sorry you've had to deal with all this on your own. seems like this disconnection you're feeling from others has led to some thoughts/feelings that people are 'against' you. it really sucks that you've had to experience this but please know that you deserve to be supported. you deserve to be heard, to be seen. 

opening up to professionals can be a lil scary and intimidating. it's okay if you feel a bit of distrust, it takes time to built that rapport and ease in. have you communicated to your psych about these thoughts/feelings you've mentioned here? being open about it can help your psych provide you with validation and support you better. 

i know it's not easy reaching out when your mind thinks everyone's scheming against you, but we are here to listen and support you. and it takes a lot of strength to challenge those thoughts, so hope you're proud of yourself for pushing through and reaching out here 💜