I have NPD

[jannabi]

Hey everyone,

I recently had my first breakup, and I am convinced that I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I think I don't feel a normal amount of empathy and I mimic what other people would do. I have a really fragile ego and my ex-partner often had to remind me that she is not criticising me because I would get easily offended. I lied throughout our relationship to preserve my self-image. In the past, I've caused the end of a friendship because I was jealous of him and started treating him badly. When he caught on to my mistreatment, I would deny it and say that he was being sensitive. I want to fix myself because something is terribly wrong. 

[Appleblossom]

@jannabi 

Many people self diagnose.  I do.  Best leave it to "the experts".

Its brave to admit to NPD with all the demonising of it on the internet.

Being prepared to work on oneself is not a typical symptom or sign of NPD.

I use internet for psychological tools.

Getting over relationship break up can be tough.

Take Care

Apple

[Appleblossom]

This might be helpful

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAFyxGsnqKc 

[Daisydreamer]

Hi @jannabi and welcome to SANE,
As @Appleblossom mentioned, it's really brave to reach out and want to take steps towards working on you and your wellbeing.

It sounds like you have thought about this a lot, and what the relationship looked like. I am wondering if you have spoken to anyone about this before?

As @Appleblossom mentioned, a mental health professional might be able to give you some ideas about what is going on and support you through this. Have you considered chatting with a mental health professional before?

I am really glad you reached out to share your experience. Please feel free to check back in again and let us know how you are doing 🙂

[FakePerson]

It’s a shame it appears you can’t pm here.

What happened with this? Recognising NPD in yourself is rare because it’s an all encompassing defence mechanism that aims to protect the internal broken self, and that’s all it’s good for.

Could you better describe “mimic what other people would do” ?

This doesn’t sound like the false person. It sounds like something read, rather than experienced.

I would not even begin to describe the fake person this way, so I’m sceptical of this.

I’m here solely to connect with an aware narcissist. I’m a different kind of fake person than NPD.

Different mechanism, also arrested development due to trauma.

NPD is the result of trauma BTW. That’s what I think you should first look for, followed by a professional.