I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I get distracted easily too @tyme  Plus the visual ones are hard as I don’t see pictures. So that definitely doesn’t work. I might be able to stay focused for a short one, I can only try. 

I get your reasoning about birthdays. Kids a really materialistic these days and expect so much. Their birthday/Christmas lists are extensive. 

Lots of birthday run arounds! Kids expect a birthday party every year. When I was I kid it was a great. 

As kids mum and dad didn’t have much money so we never got things during the year we had to wait until our birthdays or Christmas. Then we only got a few things and something we desperately wanted. I never asked for anything expensive as they just couldn’t do it. 

I don’t know how I would go if I had kids in this current world. 

I’ll take a photo. I don’t think I need much, I’ve got a few bones here. I might give them both one tonight. 

The spa is around $30000 for the size I want and I’m guessing $10000 to extend the verandas and roof. 

Sounds like a busy day planned. It’s nice to be invited for much as appreciation. That’s very kind of them. Also your BIL helping people out. 

Transfer leave over to me and I can go back to hospital sooner! 😜. In the 2 1/2 years I’ve been here I don't think I’ve seen you take leave. I don't want you to take leave either. Can you take a week here and there, will that get it down? Plus 6-8 weeks at the end of the year. 

[tyme]

Hehehehe @Captain24 

Totally! Kids are so materialistic nowadays. They have EVERYTHING. And that's the problem. If, when they are 3 years old, they get something that is a few hundred dollars, consider what they'd expect by their 16th or 21st! I also think that a lot of it is competition - who can give the 'best' present. 

I never deny the kids of anything they need. But I do deny them of everything they want. 

As for the spa, it's pretty awesome if you do work towards getting it. But yes, I can see the costs go up.

As for leave, I checked last night... believe it or not, in total, I have clocked up 1235 hours!

Yes, I really don't like taking days off. I love routine, I love knowing what I'm doing.

The only thing I may have to do is start a few hours later each weekday. So maybe, I can start work at 6pm or 8pm or something. Maybe I'm experiencing FOMO. I feel if I work 8-10pm, I'm barely doing anything! I'd be bored!

I wonder if you can get payouts instead of taking leave? This is something I might ask. 

And yes, if I could give you leave, I would!

[Captain24]

I see people on Facebook buying their kids brand new cars. @tyme. My first car was 10years old and I had to pay for it myself! I did appreciate it though. Nothing handed on a silver platter! 

Yeah.. needs come first wants come second. If you get them everything they want they won’t learn to appreciate it. When I worked in retail I saw a lot of things. The families that looked a bit rough around the edges and not much money had the most polite kids. The middle and upper were a different story. I’m not say all just a general observation. 

Wow.. that’s a lot of leave! It’s hard when working keeps stability. Do they take that into consideration? Maybe starting late may work through some but keep you in routine. 

It doesn’t hurt to ask. What’s the worst they can say.. no? 

What if you just took a day every week? You already have 2 off would a third make much difference? Just a suggestion. I’m trying to come up with ideas that may work. 

[tyme]

You're so sweet to try and come up with answers for me 🙂 Shows what a kind heart you have @Captain24 

When I take leave, I want it to have the least impact on the community here. This means I can take leave when we have a few people working on the forums. I'm not sure I can take a WHOLE day off every week - that will rock MY boat lol!

So, here are my thoughts:

1) I'll ask if a payout can be made.

2) I'll take 1-3 hours off each shift. 

Then again, I don't work full time. Each shift is only 5.5-6.5 hours long. 

Doesn't matter. I'll just wait to hear what they say about my first choice.

Anyway, I'm hopping off now. So nice to chat to you again. We can chat some more tomorrow?

Please take care.

[Captain24]

Ohhh shucks.. thanks @tyme 

Thanks for talking me through mowing my lawn! The back is don’t now just to do the front. 

See you tomorrow 

[Captain24]

Aargh.. mum just messaged me and expects me to go to the markets with her and take the dogs. I was just going to town and go myself quickly. It’s too hot for the dogs. It’s 37 degrees and they both ended to go in the pram. 

She wants to go at 6:30. Then expects me to go for a walk after. I don’t want to. I spent this morning with them at the vet for Santa photos. Twice in one day is way too much.

After last night I just don't have the capacity. But of course me being me has to do it. Keep everyone happy at the detriment of myself. I hate that I do this to myself but that’s just who I am. 

Ranting and I’m not even there yet. 

[Jynx]

Aww Cap!! Big hugs comin atcha!! 

🫂🫂

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@Captain24 wrote:

After last night I just don't have the capacity. But of course me being me has to do it. Keep everyone happy at the detriment of myself. I hate that I do this to myself but that’s just who I am. 

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Counterpoint - NO HUMAN BEING IS STATIC AND UNCHANGING. It is not 'just who you are' darlin, it's automatic neural pathways that were wired in childhood. That shit is HARD to re-wire! Especially when any attempts to do so with your family are likely going to end up reinforcing them instead, cos your family seem to want to keep treating you like a child! 

Anyway, just saw that and thought 'Nuh uh, Cap doesn't deserve to feel that way about herself, cos she's an absolute legend and if her fam can't see that, well someone has to tell her!' 😉💜

How's your day been?

[Captain24]

Hey @Jynx 

They contest me like a child. I’m still that little girl that they can manipulate. But I’m stupid enough to let them. But like you said that’s hard to change. They still control me. 

Th and for saying that. My family are

bringing me unstuck right now. I’m letting them get to me. 

I tidied up my kitchen and did all the ironing before I took the dogs for Santa photos. Then it’s taken me ages to mow the backyard. I still have the front to go. It’s currently 37 here so I need to be careful. But I want it done so the only big thing I have to do tomorrow is bath the dogs. Then I can just chill and watch tv or something. I haven’t got any arty stuff on the go. I finished it all. The diamond art included. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 I would say it's far less about 'letting them' do it as it is about the fact that your lil lizard/survival brain might be literally physically shutting down attempts to deviate your behaviour. 

Or to put it another way, standing up to them still feels like it could get you rejected and thrown out.  Which once upon a time, would have been a death sentence - our brains have not yet evolved to understand modern life!

So quite literally, going against your parents feels like it will get you killed! 

When I've had trouble standing up for myself, it really does feel physically impossible. Like my throat has sealed itself shut and all I can do is sit there agreeing until I can get out of there. There's no 'letting' involved, we're dealing with things that have been encoded into our genes for millenia. 

So give yourself a break!! 

Ach, the malaise of having no more art projects, I know it well!! Sometimes I just have to kinda... wait till the creative energy comes back lol. Maybe you'll get something artsy for xmas!!

Hope you are surviving the heat ok!! 

[Captain24]

It does feel like that @Jynx. If I don’t follow along I’ll be kicked out. Which to some is probably not a problem but for me they are the only family I know so I’m stuck with them. I’m too under control to buck the system. 

I’m hoping I can get out of the walk. I can just say that my calves are hurting after mowing the lawn. Oh and I’ve finished off the front! 

I got a laptop for Christmas. Mine was too old and wouldn’t update. So we went halves. 

I’ve got lots of Lego, 2 or 3 diamond art and a few other artsy things but I’m thinking I’ll just leave it until after Christmas or after my arsehole brother leaves. If we ever find out when he is coming. 

Im thinking I need a cool shower and to wash my hair. I’m allergic to grass. 

How has your day been?

You never told me your snake story! A snake was spotted 10 metres from my back fence!