I can’t cope

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 ,

Yes, the 2 older kids can swim, but not the little one. That fire cracker just jumps in the pool and doesn't care if she drowns or not.... she's hectic! My sister just threw her rashie over her head today and my niece realised it was back to front. She says, "What in the world!!!???" I laughed so much! She's a cracker of a kid. 

As for this time of the year - hell yeah! It had been TERRIBLE for years! I've been okay for the last 4-5 years, but before that, every end of year and new year was spent in hospital. I just couldn't cope with this time of year. It was just so hard and everything was 'out of control' in my eyes. 

I still remember the christmas gifts we got while in hospital. Sad, eh? I remember some mindfulness colouring in books and fidget toys. 

But yes, this it the peak time for a lot of people with MH to struggle. I know first hand and that's why I'm so mindful with providing as much support to people as I can. If I had a choice, I wouldn't want SANE staff to be off at this time. But we have a policy that means we MUST turn everything off from 25th Dec to 1st Jan. But yes, my heart will be with everyone in my forums family. If you are around, feel free to 'look after' the community our absence. 

Then again, moderators will be online still but their role is more around managing risk than anything else.

[Captain24]

I love the little one.. she has so much attitude! @tyme These kids come out with some stuff. It must keep you entertained.

So was it a BPD thing, the lack of control? Did your family support you while you were in there? 

At least they did something for you. One of the girls I was in with in March spent Christmas in there last year. I didn’t really ask her much about it. 

I understand why SANE does that. They are looking after you all. Less triggers for the staff. It would be nice for support at the same time though but that is selfish of me. I will try. I’m not sure I’m very good though.

My dietitian asked me today what I was doing for Christmas and I told her. She said ‘all day with your mother!’ She told me to make sure I had some time out. 

My appointment was mostly about indigestion today so it was good to get some understanding. She wants me to see my GP for follow up incase there is an underlying cause for it. 

[Ru-bee]

Good plan @Captain24! I keep thinking I need to sit down and write some lists of things I need to get done before Christmas too. I'll add that to my after-work tasks

[tyme]

Yeah, I think much was in relation to BPD. Just being out of control and my emotions even more out of control. This meant there was a lot of risk involved. Mind you, i was an involuntary patient in the acute MH ward so it was not pleasant. And no, my family didn't even know. I was living alone. No one knew anything about my life. The cops and ambos took me, and that's it. @Captain24  So yeah.. they were very bad times.

When things began to improve, instead of being in hospital, I was admitted into PARCs during that time. I think I had 2-3 three planned end of year PARC stays.

And now, I don't need anything bar a break from the monsters!

I never knew indigestion could be so bad! To even liken it to a heart attack is scary!

I had a meeting with my manager about my leave circumstance so I'm planning my leave for 2025 lol. I'm trying to find hours to slot in. Whoever thought taking leave was to complicated!

What are you up to tonight?

[Captain24]

I need lists so I don’t forget anything but I love when I delete them as I go and see nothing left to do for the day! @Ru-bee Its the only way I can get anything done or I’d leave it all to the last minute. 

[Snowie]

Hi @Captain24 

Just reading along hon. You have been able to achieve a lot, be proud of that.

Hi @tyme @Ru-bee hoping you are both having good days.

[Captain24]

I’m sorry you had to go through all that. @tyme. and to go through it alone. That sounds really tough. Did you ever want to ask for support? Or knew you wouldn’t get it? 

It’s good that you were able to plan for it as time went on. At least it was more your choice than involuntary. 

You have done so well for yourself. You should be proud. You have come a long way. You are an inspiration. 

I have it so easy in comparison. 

Indigestion is the first sign of a heart attack in females! If you can’t stop it with all the products you need to go straight to hospital 

So you can’t be paid out? Were you able to shorten your shifts or do you have to take days/weeks off? 

Here I am trying to figure out when I have enough leave to go to hospital. 

I have 3 shirts left to iron but I just can’t do it. I’m done. I’ve been awake too long to be able to function! 

My night is sitting here watching TV and chatting in here. Then going to bed!!!!!

[Captain24]

Hey @Snowie. I am proud. It shouldn’t have taken me so long but without sleep I just had to take it as it came. 

How are you?

[Snowie]

@Captain24 sometimes it doesn't matter how long it took as long as you got it done. It's nice to have a list and be able to tick thing of it.

I read that you haven't had much sleep. Hopefully you can get some good sleep tonight.

I'm ok thanks, been a mixed day.

[Captain24]

I think once my head hits the pillow I will be out! @Snowie. I’m at the point that I can hardly stand up. 

Mixed day? Do you wanna talk about it?