How do know I'm high?

[Harry]

Hi everyone, Harry here I live with bi - polar disorder. For those who arent familiar with bi - polar disorder and speaking about my own personal lived experience there are periods of extreme highs followed by low periods.

It's sometimes very difficult for me to realise that I have entered into a high stage (MANIA) and know that "Something's not right". That is a very subjective view as what some people perceive as being "not right" or something that needs to be "fixed" I see as being quite normal and in fact I live for my periods of being "high".

How do I eventually realise that "something's not right"? Well a few things can happen. People close to me who know and understand what is happening will gently point it out to me. This is a good thing because it makes me more aware of how outlandish I may be in my words and actions.

Secondly I catch myself doing things out of the ordinary like walking to strange areas 20km from home.......out on an adventure.

The third thing I would like to mention about knowing I am "high" is when I suddenly realise how productive, artistic, full of energy I am and I can't stop talking.

These "high" periods come in real handy for school with study and assessments ETC.

As I mentioned I do really like my "highs" and I am wondering if anyone else lives with a similar "cycling" of moods and how they feel about this particular aspect of their life?

Cheers

Harry

[Tim_H]

Hi Harry,

I don't have bi-polar however am interested in understanding the disorder more. I have OCD and can become 'compulsive' or driven to save money, study, research something etc. Which can lead to complete focus or fixation on achieving certain goals. I understand my illness well so I try not to let other areas of my life suffer. However this is difficult and I find it's hard for me to switch tasks or listen to others etc.

I find my obsessive mind stops me from enjoying life as I'm constantly distracted or thinking about achieving 'something'.

[Harry]

Hi Howard. Thanks for replying and sharing. If you have a look at the Black Dog Institute site you will find a wealth of information on bipolar - disorder as this is an area they specialise in. http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/

A book that has personaly helped me to achieve enjoyment and a forward direction in my life is The Happiness Trap. It is written in laymans terms and you can read the first chapter online for free http://www.thehappinesstrap.com/

I also have OCD and it presents in the form of intrusive thoughts...........this is attatched to anxiety disorder.

For me it can be a matter of actually getting my thought process organised to be productive as opposed to you who is driven by complete focus or fixation as you say to constantly achieve.

Aren't our minds facinating.

Cheers

Harry

[kristin]

Hi Harry,

Thanks for sharing so courageously and honestly about your situation. 

I also have bipolar, and suffer from mania at times, although historically I've mostly struggeld with severe and chronic depression for 35 years. To be honest the bipolar was only diagnosed about 3 years ago. Up until then I thought that when I was manic I was "well". So I really relate to what you are saying.

I've come to see it as a balancing act. If I get too manic I spend money like there's no tomorrow (no not to the bankrupt or starving stage thankfully, but not good when you have 3 kids relying on you), I get super busy, I can achieve incredible things - including stuff others think is impossible, and I tend to talk very quickly and in extreme detail. After a while of this - weeks or months - I tend to crash big time: like a house of cards falling down. Then I suffer from unrelenting depression, often for months on end, and struggle to function at all.

Sooo... in answer to your question:

- it sounds like you are growing a bit of a handle on the signs of when you are manic, this is important (worth keeping notes on if it helps)

- you've got some good friends who notice and let you know (hopefully in a non-judgemental way)

- yes mania can be incredibly creative, but it can end up being destructive in the longer term even if the worst of it is "only" being burnt out

- I'd say a tiny bit of mania is a good thing, more than that and it's a runaway horse in my experience

- try working on balance, finding the middle ground in the bipolar: whatever that looks like for you because we are all different

I hope this helps!

Cheers,

Kristin

[Flanaganj67]

Hello guys

I have bipolar and did not treat it as I was afraid of what people would think and how they would respond.  The illness left untreated gets out of control and can cause substantial disruptions to relationships, careers and anything else that is good in your life.  It is a good idea to learn about the illness and deal with it as soon as you can.

[Alessandra1992]

I also recommend The reality slap by same author, Russ Harris. Russ Harris is just amazing at explaining the principles of ACT Acceptance Commitment Therapy and using mindfulness.

[kristin]

I completely agree with you. For some it can be a very long road of self-discovery before getting to the point of a bi-polar diagnosis, as this is built from your history. If no one works out you've been manic (and you think that's being "well") it can go under the radar for many years - nearly 20 for me.
Facing up to and learning about it can be painful, but very worthwhile.

[Cuzin]

Hi Harry,

I don't have bipolar, just depression and anxiety- but the thought of getting essays completed almost makes it sound appealing 😉 - I am a procrastination master........

Cuz

[Flanaganj67]

Great story Harry, it sounds like you have a solid handle on the illness.  There are many of us who struglle tremendously with both the manic and depression side of the illness.  I have a wonderful family with four kids and thank God that they are supportive.  I am losing grips on everything else in my life and my manic behaviour often is unpredictable which has led to a BK and continued anti-social behaviour.  This illness left untreated can be a real threat to one's life.

[Harry]

Hey one and all. Thanks so much to everyone who have replied to this little thread. It seems that there is an interest in bi - polar disorder on many different levels with some great information and tips.

I haven't had a chance to reply to everyone individually so my apologies for that. School has just got back underway so as you might imagine it's been a bit hectic.

The one thing that has really stood out to me in the forum as a whole is how each persons story is unique on every topic and thread. I know I will certainly be able to learn a heap of useful information and try out a few of the tips and suggestions that have been put forward.

Cheers Harry