Hi @chookmojo,
I'm sorry to read about the rough patch you've been through recently, particularly losing your chooks, that was very sad. Thank you for sharing a picture of your feathered family, they were gorgeous. It's lovely to hear that they had a wonderful spoilt life with you 🙂 I hope you will be able to adopt some more feathered friends (and create a compromise coop!) when you decide the time is right.
Glad to see your mood has lifted back to your chirpy self now 🙂
You mentioned in an earlier post that you were frustrated realising that something you thought you needed to cope (weed) was actually standing in the way of you getting the most out of your life. I just wanted to remind you to be gentle with yourself and recognise that you were just trying to cope and doing what you thought would be helpful at that time. There's no need to beat yourself up about that, just appreciate how far you have come in adding more helpful coping strategies to your repertoire.
It's great that you've found your medication so helpful. I couldn't agree more that having developed a range of coping strategies over the years has put you in a stronger position to cope with whatever challenges arise, and that the more resources you have the better!
I'm so happy to hear that you're finding your psychologist good. Having someone to bounce ideas off without having to worry about the impact on your relationship can be so helpful. It seems like researching Autism Spectrum Disorder and discussing this diagnosis with your psychologist has brought you a lot of clarity - and relief? It's wonderful to hear that you no longer feel like a failure!! What an amazing thing that your perpetual sense of being a 'bad person' is starting to shift with this new information... seems like a solid foundation stone for rebuilding your self-worth.
Your idea of talking to your husband about how ASD may be affecting your relationship, perhaps in a session with your psychologist, sounds very constructive. Your plan to explore that avoidance of intimacy might be helpful too. Regarding what you were saying about empathy not coming easily to you, it's interesting that you don't come across to me that way - the responses you write to other Forum members are very empathic and supportive. I believe it's a very common thing to want to jump to finding a solution when hearing others' problems - it's hard to sit with someone in distress, our natural instinct is to do something to help them, and I think we are trained to be very action-oriented culturally, so it makes sense that that would be our immediate response. I don't know if that resonates with you, just something I find interesting.
So after all these recent ups and downs, how is your routine looking? Spending some quality time with your cats? Any progress on the home gym? Have you been able to have another go at colouring? I know the reading is going well... loved this:
"Well the damn has burst and ALL the books will be mine!!"
Even though your garden isn't feeling the same right now I hope this lovely springtime sunshine tempts you out again soon. Wonderful advice from @Former-Member about getting started, it seems to have worked really well for you.
Look forward to hearing more of your journey.
Shimmer 🙂
