Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Candles]

Hello everyone, short version son at 17and half found new friends and Ice and other drugs when Ice wasnt there. Addiction was swift. Downward spiral quicker. By 20 took 9 months to get into detox ,reahab Mirikai for youth so successful another 9 months. Home now and well behaved court appearances over 2 years ending this year with success. on top of addiction but brain still rewiring, no happy cells . Anxiety angry and all the bad stuff that goes with it. 

To stay clean/sober has to stay away from friends, there are no I repeat no friends that were on his facebook list on coast that dont do drugs of somesort and there were hundreds of friends old friends and new. He no longer has or does social media. Part of rehab teachings cut ties with it all.

Result is huge in depression, anxiety, and anger. This stage of his home rehab is so difficult .Family falling apart after emotional death having a ice addiicted brother and son and all that goes with that, then the begging detox centers , rehabs , doctors for help. The finainicial loss has been devasting we will never recover from that and now facing the long term effects of drug induced mental illness when we were just treading water before never once sharing with him any guilt stuff re costs and how it effected us all.

Now we face his mental illness of a x addict but it still feels like we are trapped in a bubble with a Ice addict. Mood swings , he cant sleep well, but tries to be well ,goes to gym , eats so healthly , getting fit , looks great , clear skin, clear eyes and then bang there's screaming, sobbing, tantrums ,agression,the whole family is shattered and we have been so strong but cracks everywhere now as we thought / hoped and knew the brain would take time to heal we just didnt know or expect our nitemare of Ice induced truma to be this hard after 9months of rehab.

So I am here to learn so I can share with my faimly. I am here to save my young teen daughter { her whole teens years have been with an ice addict and its showing in her emotions and her copeing skills everything } and her older sibblings  any more truma, I am here to learn and share with my near broken husband, and I am here to learn to be a support to my son.

I am incredibaly proud of my son and proud of any person who enters rehab. I am proud he begged to be amitted to detox after being refused for not using everyday. I am proud he stayed and proud he finished his rehab with a Certificate. I am heartbroken he is not pain free after his journey, but I will be his support on the rest of his journey and I hope to learn to be the best support with knowledge from you all . Kind Regards Candles  

[NikNik]

Hi @Candles

I'm so sorry that your post has gone so long without any responses. It seems it has flown under the radar.

What an incredible parent you are and how wonderful it is to read your son got through rehab.

I'm really glad you found us. 

You might want to start by checking out this Topic Tuesday session we held a couple of weeks ago, on substance abuse and mental illness

Sadly, there are a fair few of us here who care for people who have used drugs and specifically ice, before.

@Simma also cares for a son who has abused ice before. You can find Simma's discussion here

Feel free to jump on the forums whenever you need - vent, offer others advice and get to know other members. I hope you find this community helpful.

Take care,

Nik

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Candles. Ice is so destructive. it is great you are clear about your values with him. I am glad you are proud of your boy ... he is still so young ... brain plasticity is real ... but may take time ... good luck on the journey.

[Mosaic]

Hi @Candles

Welcome to the Forums and thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you and the rest of the family have really been doing it tough. Your son clearly has incredible strength to go through the rehab program after such a struggle with ice addiction - that is really not an easy journey. You have every right to be proud of him. I can only imagine the pride in your mother's heart when he received his certificate. That must have really meant a lot to him, and you. Wow - incredible.

You sound like such a supportive parent, though understandably it has been difficult for you and the rest of the family. The pain must still feel incredibly raw, and the recovery process is still far from over yet. But (touch wood) you have gotten through the worst of it now. Well done.

I imagine you haven't had much of a moment to sit back and reflect on this experience yet... given you have been so busy supporting your family and advocating for your son. I hope the Forums can provide that space for you. Please continue keep us updated with how things are going.

Take care of yourself.

[Candles]

Hello and thank you for your comemts and welcome. Havent been able to sit and view forums and chat life certaintly gets busy for all of us.Also some days one can just ramble on all what is dysfunctional looseing sight of the amazing success of postive progress achievied .

Being postive and trying very hard to be a supportive family member not a enabling. Some days tricky. Son still 100 percent trying, few melt downs re job applications and filling in those questions re police records . 

The conseqenses of his life style choices at a young age will haunt him for several years to come yet that was very difficult day to move on from. In study at present early days. 

He is still following the rules and lessons learnt at rehab. Re contact with old mates, keeping fit, following a routine of early nights early morning rises. Keeping organizsed. 

Happy brain cells coming in short bursts and we celebrate those moments with a huge smile ,I am trying to keep that weather girl smile 24/7 as I hope if he looks my way he will retun that smile with one of his own.. Thank you again everyone . I hope anyone reading this who is just starting at the beginning of having a family member who is effected by drug abuse can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes its baby steps one foot back one foot forward but everyday getting closer to wellness.Many thanks I am off to read my way around the forum, please excuse if I have written in wrong areas. Kind regards to everyone Candles

[InnerFish]

Thank you for sharing your experience, Candles. Your capacity to keep loving, to keep focused on a positive outcome, is very inspiring to those of us who are also dealing with loved ones battling mental health problems compounded by addiction.

If it helps at all, please know that you are thought about and that connecting and sharing with others helps all of us to deal with our struggles.

Peace.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi Candles

Its hard to respond sometimes when you really don't know what to say ...

Your courage and love for your family is so inspiring.  Your strength in persevering helps others to persevere too.  Some of us who haven't got to diagnosis yet, or entered the rehab stage for whatever condition we are faced with, can hold up a candle in our heats and say, "She made it this far on that rough a road.  I can keep going too, and keep my hopes alive."

Well done you !!  Thanks so much for sharing.

🌺