I hate people. I hate their selfishness, arrogance, the world revolves around me and me only, I hate people who turn up late as if your time isn't important, I am tired if forgiving and understanding, I am tired if being nice, I want to scream at people everyday and tel them exactly who they are and never feel guilty, sometimes I want to slap people in their face really hard to wake them up, some people I look at and feel nothing, there is nothing there, just absolutely nothing, no feeling, no thought, no care, no compassion, no pity, no love, just a big hole filled with nothingness, I hate that there truly are sychopatgs in the world, I am tired if feeling compassion for evil people, I don't care about thinking the worst torment and punishment for evil people, they don't deserve to be loved because they even use that for their evilness, I hate that there are people in the world that want to suck your soul to their truly us nothing then go on to do it to others cause they have taken everything from you and have no use for you, I hate that truly sick people won't go to hospital where they need to be and proceed to show everyone they are fine as part of their game, I hate that there is no justice for victims like me and the hell you have to go through just to get justice. I hate that I'm fighting to regain my mind and how hard it has been to break going back. I hate how the person just doesn't care or doesn't even care to recognise the damage done to me but now wants me back. Ohz I miss you so much, I need you, when are you coming to me, I don't want to move on, I'm in love with you, my heart will always be yours, ease come see me, I don't want to let you go, I can't let you go, I don't know who I am anymore nor why I break every time I think of you. I'm so tired if hearing it. I'm angry that it's so hard for me to break free from the torment and hell when I know I have to. I hate that no one can just cut straight to the chase and tell me what thus person is really doing. Give me something, cause I don't know. I'm struggling, tormented, doing what I can. This person takes zero responsibility for my condition. Huge huge huge huge EGO. Now they are failing apart and need me. Yet, they are apparently in DV counseling causef me, if I slander their name they will press charges, the amount if times I was told I should be ashamed of myself when I hadn't done anything wrong, calling me a liar when I was telling the truth, denying the effect that people in her life that were doing things to me should be affecting me at all, just a cold response to hurtful things, trying to tell me it was normal for her to find information out about me through Google searches and image searches. Using anything she found to her own advantage. Making plans for my life without even thinking it asking how I felt or if I wanted that too. Wondering why I'm not in love with her anymore. Making up things I said that I didn't even say. Complete dismissal in answering any of my questions ever. Telling me they are seeing someone new that helped them and us kind when I ended the relationship. So, I said great. All the best. Bye. I didn't give a damn. Now the grovelling starts again. I just don't care anymore. I've told her she needs to go to hospital and admit herself. Im not going to assist not help her. Nope. I don't feel anything. I don't think she is capable of changing. I think she needs psychiatric evaluation and needs to be in hospital for an extended amount of time. I wish I could stop thinking about her. I wish I could force her to hospital so I can be safe and she can be safe. I just don't care that she is a mess. I just don't care. Everyone blames me for her condition now. I get told I'm the only one that sees her in a negative view. That's because she is a master manipulator and extremely cunning. Talk to her for a while and then talk to her the next day with the same conversation and the story will have completely changed. If challenged everyone else is lying and she us telling the truth. Even if in writing or with solid proof. I've lost so much. I feel trapped in myself. Like a real that I know is a trap and I am struggling in every moment to break free. I feel like an empty shell. I can't work, I have to like do re have by myself every day to figure out how to function everyday, so can't handle voices and talking most of the time, I forget about the people around me, there is no justice for me. None. I want some form of justice. Thus is not even an exhaustive list of things. I'm only just scratching the surface. I'm getting help. I just don't give a damn about her suffering at all.
