Hey there @Ajishappy,
What you've described is a bit of a tricky one. When my OCD was at its worst and I was indescribably anxious, my anxiety and OCD presented as thoughts such as the one's you've mentioned. I knew it wasn't actually happening, but the intrusive thoughts that came along with the OCD meant I couldn't drop the "what if" aspect, and I lived in a very uncomfortable/anxious state until the level of anxiety I was experiencing subsided. That said, these kinds of things are best diagnosed by a health professional because each of our cases are different.
In my case what helped was finding a professional support person, for me that was a psychiatrist, who was able to diagnose and treat these symptoms. As @NatureLover has suggested, this is such an important part of recovery, particularly when you're living with these kinds of thoughts, so I hope you have a professional by your side to help in this respect.
How I managed this beyond therapy and medication was to accept the thoughts as thoughts. The more I reacted to them, the more anxious I became and it was a vicious circle. On days when I was really struggling and I was in-between therapy appointments, I would occasionally reach out to support services/phone counselling. If you ever feel like you might need a little extra support or would like to chat about finding ongoing support, SANE offers a free and confidential phone counselling service that operates Mon-Fri 10am-10pm on 1800 187 263.
I hope by sharing my story here @Ajishappy you're able to take some comfort that others share similar experiences to the ones you've described, and that by finding the right professional support there is hope to alleviate the distress these symptoms are no doubt causing.
I know the road along the OCD path can be pretty rough at times so please don't hesitate to keep reaching out here or by calling the SANE counselling service if you need 💙
Rhye ☘️
