Anxiety is hight

[tyme]

hrmmm @Shaz51 .. I can imagine OCD, ASD and ADHD.. but living with it??? LOL. You're amazing @Shaz51 

[BlueBay]

it’s very tiring @Jynx 

but the problem is I take it personally 

I blame myself 

it’s like I’m not good enough 

you know if he can’t find something it’s my fault 

our communication is not great 

even more so now since all kids have moved out 

[BlueBay]

I don’t think it’s because he close to me @tyme 

I think it’s because he can’t see that he’s made an error 

or doesn’t think before he speaks 

will say something that does not make sense to me so when I question he says oh dont worry about it. I get that reply all the time. It’s like he doesn’t like to be questioned. 
so I then shut down and blame myself. All the negative things come to mind for me to do

Then I feel angry for a few days.  Feel resentful and do negative things to myself. 

[tyme]

I see that happening @BlueBay . Totally. Sounds like just people who have NO IDEA? It's only too too common in my life.

In a way, I don't think he'll change at this stage. What do you think?

[Jynx]

@BlueBay it's sooooo hard not to take things personally. Working on that has been a huge part of my own recovery, and I still struggle with it too!! This book is actually what helped me heaps. Here's an excerpt, idk if it resonates with you or not!

That last part - Nothing other people do is because of you - is the thing I am constantly reminding myself of. When someone lashes out at me, it is because of what is happening in their world, not because I deserve it. 

Have you ever considered maybe some relationship counselling or something similar to help you work on your communication skills together? 

[Jynx]

@Shaz51 I can lol that's my sister 😅 It's a lot, hey!!

[BlueBay]

No he won’t change now but then what do I do? It’s so frustrating yo the point that when I see my psych I end up crying so much. 
@tyme 

[tyme]

Live with it? @BlueBay 

Tell him?

Set boundaries and walk away?

What do you think?

[BlueBay]

That’s really hard to do @tyme 

I get very scared to talk for fear of a fight 

or being told “I don’t get it” 

[tyme]

Just say (I'm only saying and not promoting), if you left him, do you think things will improve for you? @BlueBay