Accepting my illness

[Caringsoul73]

@Maggie 

Good afternoon! Your coffee sounds nice 🙂

Do you share your stones on the forum? I'd love to see them. Sounds like a lovely hobby and I'm glad it's filled your dark days with colour 😍 

If I get the courage I'll share some of my work 🙂 

I have four main crafts which are homemade cards ( stenciled, calligraphy, embossed) candle and soap making and crochet. My home is filled with candles! Self made spa soaps and body lotion too.  I'm a self taught kind of lady lol! It's a great feeling. Recently I made two stuffed funky looking animals in bright colours from crochet but mainly do beanies, snoods/ scarves and headbands, blankets.
I've got lots of goodies that I give as little gifts etc but would love to work toward a craft market stall at some stage as a project. I do it for the love of it plus it makes me feel accomplished. 

Thanks for the chat 🙂

[Owlunar]

It sounds as if you have really worked hard on dealing with your emotions @Caringsoul73  - it can't be easy raising a family when you have to deal with BiPolar as well and it seems you are doing a great job and you are learing to accept you situation which is hard work I know

It's wonderful to be a giving and caring person but yes - you also deserve to have acceptance and love shown to you too - this is where so many people with emotional discomfort struggle - feeling guilty for being  ill - so unnecessary to feel guilty about it but many do

BiPolar is a roller-coaster ride that lasts for years - I was misdiagnosed with BiPolar - so long ago now - and my mother gave me a hard time about it - actually - I had been through a very testing time and having severe ups and downs - as anyone would and I can't see why anyone would judge anyone for having ups and downs so often associated with BiPolar - but I can't account for my mother. When I had another diagnosis that said I wasn't BiPolar my mother didn't like that either - so somethings I really understand - how confusing it can be - to have a diagnosis - or a label - or a tag - or whatever. 

I do wish you the best - it seems you have really nice kids - and right now I think most people are feeling the COVID crisis somewhere in their lives - and it's different for everyone and even though we are living through an historical time it is hard on people - 

Keep in touch - I can see other people have added their ideas and this is good - these forums are safe - we are anonymous and the site is well-moderated

Dec

[Maggie]

@Caringsoul73  Wow, your crafts skills are diverse, and interesting. 

Take your time if sharing, it’s totally up to you, absolutely no pressure. I know how hard it is to put your stuff’ out there. I do have some of my stones on the Craft Corner , if you would like to have a look there. Others have beanies, and amazing crochet, plus diamond painting. Yes, always a good feeling of accomplishment once something is complete.

I hope your day today is ok, or better. 💕💕

[Caringsoul73]

@Maggie 

Hi again!

Sorry I haven't replied sooner. I went to jump online last night and never got around to it!

I am interested in looking at the craft corner shared on this forum. Would love to see your stones.

A lady in my community has left dot painted  stones in various places outside so that when kids go for walk etc during lockdown they can enjoy them. I thought that was such a fantastic idea.

Yes I get a little nervy sharing stuff online yet it's funny because friends have seen my things at home and I don't mind. You never know, I might just take part in the sharing 🙂

I've done Macramae and Jewllery making in the past too but not anymore! Craft gives me satisfaction from learning myself right through to the end result. It's a peaceful space. Love my craft table!!

Hope your day has been kind 🥰

[Caringsoul73]

@Owlunar 

Hello,

Hope my message finds you well. 

I'm sorry to hear of you having such a difficult time with misdiagnosis and severe ups and downs. I imagine that your mothers reaction would of been very hard for you to deal with especially since she still wasn't happy after the next diagnosis. I'm sorry you had to go through that as well as having illness to live through. 

I find it amazing that the stigma attached, the 'risk' ( and this is my own personal feeling because I haven't been able to achieve openness with those around me), in telling people seems so hard to do. Like if I had another illness I'm sure I'd disclose it without thought. But it's like I assume from my environment and people around me that I'd place myself and my family in a situation I just don't want out there due to fear really, fear of their reaction. I've picked up general cues ( and these are general feelings really that might not turn out as such), that people think Bipolar or mental illness in general are incapable or somehow not fit for life or 'crazy'. I don't want the judgment I guess. 

I know I'm capable and friends etc have often complimented me on being extremely organised etc, quick thinker and organiser. But the times when I was really ill the grasp was so tight that it took more effort keeping all the seams intact. So my family was first over everything. 

I know the signs more now or better still I can tap into when to slow down more. 
i see the illness as two parts:

- one is the actual illness itself and everything around dealing with it. 
- two is the other branches ie the guilt for having it, emotions and restlessness I feel about having it, loneliness not being able to let people in and tell them what we have dealt with on and off. 

This forum is a nice place and I look forward to sharing and supporting 🥰

[Maggie]

@Caringsoul73  Thankyou. I find craft brings some colour when times are dark. It’s a good distraction too. Overactive minds can make things worse, maybe.

I would love to see some of your creations, if you are up to sharing. Never any pressure.

Take care.