Heartathome

[heartathome]

@REDLINEZ750 I'm trying to make my own little space. Sometimes I realize there is no personal space on here. I know it's for our good but it kinda sucks at times! Are you okay?

[REDLINEZ750]

Hey yea I'm ok, sorry I missed you, have I done anything wrong by you else where?

I hope your sleeping well my friend I will be on early and look for you here?

Missing you my friend @heartathome  🙂

[heartathome]

No, you've never done anything wrong to me! @REDLINEZ750  Never!

I'm glad you're okay and I miss you too!! 🫶

It's so much easier for you to only have to type something out once on your thread/s!! I'll follow you along in the social thread

I sometimes get a little sad and annoyed that I can't speak to you privately. It's just something I've got to get used to. 😒

I'm wondering if I should put all my poetry on here. Surely, I can have Jesus on my own thread 🤔

I hope you have a good day, my caring friend! Sending love and hugs your way. 💛

[heartathome]

INNER CHILD

I'm hurting so, I feel so sick

Inside my chest feels like a brick

I might pass out, there's too much pain

But if I stay, I'll go insane

I don't want it covered or pushed down inside

I don't want to run, and I don't want to hide

Looking at her is almost too much

The girl within, I hated such

I'm not clear why or how or where

As it overwhelms, I can hardly bear

I can't get up to face the world

I find myself in a foetal curl

I grasp my stomach, it hurts my head

She is alive, I thought she was dead

I didn't feel, I didn't know

I didn't care, but now it grows

The girl inside, I want her out

She's huddled in fear, of me, no doubt

She is in chains, neglected too

I wonder what I'm supposed to do

I see her face, I see her fear

I never knew she was in there

I'll sit a while, just sit with you

She's so afraid of what I'll do

I'm so, so sorry, I didn't know

You were in there, we'll just go slow

What you feel is all okay

It's not strange to feel that way

Those chains removed, I'll lock the door

In case you run, I can't be sure

You cannot trust, It's okay though

I'll sit with you cause I kinda know

Can I hold you soon and stroke your hair

Cry with you because I care

Slowly now, so, so slow

We'll sit and share so we can grow

Now I know it will never be

The same for us, you and me

My inner child found at last

Of each other we are a part!

1995

Art by @REDLINEZ750 

[heartathome]

Therapist

Do you laugh behind my back?

I doubt that you care less

How do you look upon my life?

Pathetic, I would guess

Did you ever give a thought

until I walk on through?

Or am I just another one

waiting patiently in queue?

You hide behind your doctor's mask

I know that's it's not you

I wonder what you're really like

Is what I see all true?

I want to trust and believe in you

But I can't believe you care

You keep your distance emotionally

and personally, never share

I am depressed and miserable

I feel unstable too

Are you glad when time is up

I wish I really knew

I'm so angry, I've no control

You won't open up to me

You have the power, I'm vulnerable

I hate the pain, you see

I sit with this every week

and I'm still compelled to come

My need for love is crushing me

I'm here for just a crumb

Does my pain amuse you so?

Is that behind your smile?

I want control that you won't give

I need to feel worthwhile

I have failed in my eyes

and it brings up all the past

Not wanted and unlovable

It's the role I have been cast

I love and hate you passionately

You hold some king of spell

Damn you for your ethics, [named removed by moderator]

But thank you too, as well

I'm feeling now, you wanted that

Though I can't say I'm impressed

I have to trust what you want

Is to see me at my best!

1995

Art by @REDLINEZ750 

[heartathome]

Two Years On

Survivors of the apocalyptic flood

None of us are the same

You can call us resilient

Because so much has changed

We've been through the horror

And some out the other side

I can't leave anyone behind

As many dreams have died

It's a new chapter with sadness and joy

Two years further on

Many will never return

Wondering where they belong

Many homes sit still

Destroyed beyond repair

I want them to know that they matter

And that I still care

Some are okay, some are well

While others still cling to hope

Each on their own journey's

Learning on the way to cope

The community is rising

Like a Phoenix from the mud

Their fighting spirit comes through

Because it's in their blood

We continue to move forward

I love a new start

There's a new song that I sing now

A song from my heart

Bravo neighbours

Now much bigger than my street

We'll always have a bond

Not knowing the word defeat

2024

[heartathome]

FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is sharing ideas and thoughts

Not always agreeing but ready to hear

Supportive and loyal through times that are rough

Not always together but forever near

Friendship is caring about the other

Looks to be kind and thoughtful each day

Tries to understand the feelings of another

Continues to love when things aren't their way

A friend is someone you can always trust

Someone who will never lie

Always looking to lift you up

It's something money can't buy

A friend, you look forward to seeing

Sometimes needing time apart

Someone to laugh and cry with

A connection from the heart

A friend you feel comfortable being with

Honest, no front on show

Someone you don't hide your feelings from

Someone you're proud to know

Friendship develops with trust and care

Just like a flower, it grows

What goes in is what comes out

Like planting seeds that we sow

A friend is special, like a precious stone

Despite rough edges each angel we turn

So rare, it must be appreciated

Lord, to be a friend, I want to learn

1995 

[REDLINEZ750]

I have same feelings about knowing everything said is not private   @heartathome   I don't have my computer or I'd already be working on a phoenix rising from water within a heart  as a platform to present and you are every bit of the friend you hoped to be at 1995 to me 30yrs later 

You are so important to my growth and connection I get catastrophic thoughts about something bad happening to you and I would not be able to even know or be able to help you so your not alone there  my friend it resonates with me 

I have another group now, please have great day, know someone's thinking of you I will be back soon my friend

[Zoe8]

Not really, I’ve been out of work for 6 months now and I just can’t seem to get a job even though I have years of experience hence I’m now starting to panic and feeling isolated and alone. Sorry for my moan☺️

[heartathome]

I guess we know that if anything does happen to us, we're going home and I'll see you there later! 🤗Not that I expect anything to happen to me! It something does happen, it won't be due to my mental health, that's for sure! I'm having a lung test next year when I'm 65 but I'm more concerned about the 750 when you are hitting the line! 

God has changed my heart! @REDLINEZ750 . 

Don't forget to share yourself with the rest of your family. They love you too! 

I don't want you to feel pressured in any way to talk to me every day. That's too much pressure on you! Other people on the social thread are very kind to me but you're my SANE bestie! I won't interfere in a conversation that I'm not tagged in to give you space and other opportunities to connect with others. I think that's all I'm concerned about at the moment! 🤗 I don't want you to miss out on other connections! 

Are you thinking I'm being stupid? I don't want to be insecure or needy! I can be both which is not fair on you so, please think about it. If you disagree, I'm happy with that but I want you to think about what I'm saying. I think it's important. Please don't tell me off...  I'm scared about posting this but, f*** it, here goes! 💛